Learn to Love Again
by Lokis-lover-lady
Summary: The Winter Soldier has met his match in the undercover assassin The Night Siren. Evelyn aka The Night Siren is there to bring Bucky back to Steve. The heartless assassins turn out to be not so heartless when they are sent on a mission together. When pain from Evelyn's past comes back it threatens everything she has worked so hard to move on from. *Guardians of the Galaxy Crossover*
1. Chapter 1

Hydra had two top assassins in their ranks. They had The Winter Soldier and they had The Night Siren. The Winter Soldier was pure Hydra but The Night Siren not so much. The Night Siren had been working for SHIELD undercover at Hydra. Though The Winter Soldier and The Night Siren had never met they were very well aware of each other's skills. They knew everything about their counterpart's kill numbers. The Night Siren was sent undercover by SHIELD to try and get The Winter Soldier back. SHIELD knew he was Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers was desperate to get his best friend back. The Night Siren had been working at getting close to The Winter Soldier for three years now. All that time she had been gathering intel on him. The Night Siren may seem like a cold hearted assassin but she is a real person underneath all that black leather. The Night Siren is me and my name is Evelyn.

I've been with SHIELD for 5 years now and undercover at Hydra for 3. We all have things that make us unique and mine just happen to be my skills at killing someone without them knowing I'm there until it's too late. I wasn't raised to be an assassin or trained in the arts of killing since childhood. The role of assassin came to me later in life but I picked it up quickly. We all have stories, things that made us who we are today. My life was normal until it wasn't anymore. I lost something very important to me and my life was never the same. I channeled my rage into fighting and then SHIELD found me. Well more accurately Steve Rogers found me. It was ultimately him that had me joining SHIELD. Steve is the only person I have in this world and I just want to make him happy. Steve is someone I love and trust. He is like the brother I never had. Steve knows all my secrets, including the ones that SHIELD as an organization don't know. He is my best friend in the entire world so when the mission for the recovery of Bucky Barnes came up I was first to volunteer. I had nothing to lose and I know how much Bucky means to Steve. I am trying my hardest to bring him back.

I quickly climbed the ranks at Hydra. My talent is a raw talent that I refined over a very quick span of time. My background as a gymnast made picking up things easily. What I didn't already know the people at SHIELD quickly taught me. My skills were honed by Natasha. I didn't give myself the nickname The Night Siren the same way that I doubt Bucky gave himself the name The Winter Soldier. My name was given to me by the members of Hydra. They saw how I lured men into my trap then killed them before they knew what was going on. I always used my sexuality to my advantage. Men are attracted to a woman in a short skirt and I always make sure to give it to them. Getting their attention on my breasts makes it easier to slice their throat. Do I feel remorse for killing as many people as I have? Sometimes. To fit in at Hydra and not raise suspicions I have had to follow some orders that I did not agree with. Luckily they realized my propensity for killing men and making them suffer. I don't hate all men but once you have been wronged the way I have its hard to look at them with anything but contempt. Steve Rogers and Phil Coulson are the exceptions to my rule. I keep to myself and I do my job, both of my jobs. I pushed away my pain and my past. The only thing I kept from my old life is my rage. It fuels me and makes it easier to shut down my emotions to be an assassin. There is only one spot in my heart that is filled with light. That spot is occupied by Steve and only Steve. That is the reason I am still going and did not end my life years ago. When I fell into the dark Steve caught me. Now I am trying my hardest to return the favor. My job is to bring Bucky back to him and I will do that even if it is the last thing I do.


	2. Chapter 2

After working for Hydra for 3 years I finally got the call I was waiting for. They wanted The Winter Soldier and The Night Siren to go out on a mission together. I knew it had to be high profile to send the both of us together. It would mean we would need to spend a lot of time together and that is exactly what I needed. This was finally my chance to get a read on The Winter Soldier. I was going to see if Bucky Barnes was still in there after all. I packed my bags and was on the next flight to Russia. I stood in line at the airport like a normal person. My straight black hair was pulled back into a ponytail and I had on black rimmed glasses to hide my ice blue eyes. A gray zip up hoodie, a black tank top, yoga pants and sneakers completed the innocent look. I smiled at the people who looked at me and did my best to blend. I had done this so many times that it was like breathing. I always held a book in front of me like I was reading. I was not reading the book though. I was reading the people.

…

The flight was long and I was anxious to get off of the plane. I had received word that The Winter Soldier would be waiting for me in the garage. He would have our IDs and our backstory. I changed my clothes as soon as I got off the plane. I was not about to meet The Winter Soldier for the first time in yoga pants and sneakers. I transformed myself in the stall. I changed into dark skinny jeans and traded my hoodie for my leather jacket. I took my hair down and put on my favorite black heeled boots. I brushed my long black hair that hung down to the middle of my back then redid my makeup. My numerous tattoos and piercings completed my look and made me feel like me again. I was now The Night Siren and I was ready to meet The Winter Soldier.

My heels made a satisfying clicking noise as I walked down the corridor. I opened the door to the parking lot and looked around. I saw a figure standing in the shadows and leaning against a jeep. I walked towards him and he stood up as I came over. He was wearing a black jacket and gloves. He had a hat on but I could still see his face underneath. It was him. I saw him give me the once over as I walked up. I stopped and stood right in front of him.

"Hail hydra." I said.

"Hail hydra." He replied.

He turned and headed for the driver's seat. I threw my bags in the back seat. I opened the door to the passenger's side and picked up the file lying on the seat. He started the car and I opened the file. Our cover was a couple on their honeymoon. Well this was going to be a little bit awkward. David and Mary Jones, very generic. In the bottom of the envelope was my new ID and rings. I slid the engagement and wedding rings onto my finger and looked at them for a second. It was a strange sight. Even though they were fake it was still weird for me to see that. The woman who had wanted marriage had died a long time ago. I wasn't that person anymore. I didn't believe in that kind of love anymore.

The Winter Soldier was silent as he drove and it made me a little bit uncomfortable. If we were going to be playing husband and wife then we needed to find those roles. He pulled into the parking lot at the hotel and got out of the car. I quickly got out and grabbed my bags. He was getting his bags and I stood right next to him.

"David." I said.

He didn't reply. He just stood up and shut the door. I got right in his way.

"Hey Winter Soldier, you need to answer to David. This may be your first shared mission but don't act like a newb. The only way this is going to work is if we play the doting couple. That means you need to look at me, smile at me, touch my hand, something okay?"

He looked at me and gave me a sarcastic smile.

"Yes, of course Mary." He said.

"I don't like it any more than you do. Let's just get to our room and then you don't have to speak to me anymore if you don't want to. Now where is your wedding ring?"

The Winter Soldier pulled off his gloves. His right hand was normal and his left hand was metal. He pulled something out of his bag and pulled it onto his left hand. It made his hand look like flesh instead of metal. He slid the wedding band onto his finger. He held it up and wiggled his fingers at me.

"Happy?" he asked.

"Yes, now you need to act happy. We just got married so act like you are happy to be with me."

He sighed and started to walk to the front doors. He opened the door and held it open to me.

"After you dear." He said.

Anyone seeing that would have thought it was a husband being kind but I was close enough to see his eyes. He despised the fact that he had to work with me. Maybe he was all Winter Soldier now. Perhaps finding Bucky Barnes was going to be harder than I thought. I walked straight up to the front desk with him right behind me.

"Hi we would like to check in. The last name is Jones." I said.

The woman behind the desk had a very thick accent. "Yes of course. Do you have your identification?"

We put our ID's up on the desk and she looked at them. She was typing on the computer and then smiled.

"Ah yes, the honeymoon suite. Here are your keys."

She slid our ID's and our room keys over to us.

"Thank you ma'am." The Winter Soldier said as he put his arm around me.

It startled me at first but then I smile and leaned into him.

"It is my pleasure. Congratulations on your marriage. I can have someone take you bags to your room for you." She said.

"Oh that's alright. We can take them." I replied.

"Enjoy your stay. Let us know if there is anything you need." She said smiling.

The Winter Soldier started for the elevator and since he was holding onto me I was forced to go with him. He pressed the button but kept his hold on me since we were not alone and knew there were cameras in the elevator. He opened the door to our suite. As soon as the door was closed he let go of me. I set my bag down on the bed.

"Nice job down there." I said.

"I thought you said I didn't have to talk if I didn't want to." He said.

I stood up and began to unpack my clothes.

"Okay point taken. Silence it is then."

This was going to be an incredibly long couple months.


	3. Chapter 3

I took off my leather jacket and hung it in the closet. I felt a little tense from the long flight. I took off my boots and stepped out onto the balcony. The view of the city was great from out here. Since our room was on the top floor we were pretty high up. No doubt Hydra chose this room because of its viewpoint. I could see the town square perfectly from here. I decided to do some yoga out here away from The Winter Soldier and his gloomy attitude. I did a few stretches to loosen my tight muscles. Just the little bit of yoga I was able to do was enough to calm me down. I was all fight when I first came to SHIELD but Nat quickly taught me I needed to find my Zen. I couldn't live on rage all the time. It made me sloppy. After half an hour of yoga I was ready to go back inside and face The Winter Soldier again. I stepped back inside and he was sitting on the couch.

"I can see the whole city from that balcony. We can use that to our advantage." I said.

He simply nodded his head. I flopped down on the couch across from him. I saw him look up at me. He looked right at my waist and I looked down. My tank top and my pants had parted a little bit and my skin was showing. I saw his eyes land on the scar in between my hipbones. I quickly sat up and pulled my tank top down. He looked at the tattoos all over my arms and shoulders. I stared right back at him and looked at the parts of his body that I could see. If we were gonna do this then we might as well do it.

"Can I see your arm?" I asked.

"What?" he asked.

"Can I see the arm that they built for you? I've always been curious."

He leaned forward. "And what do I get in exchange for showing you my arm?"

"I don't know. What do you want in exchange?"

"Show me that scar."

I was not expecting that answer. It was not something I was going to show anyone. Steve hadn't even looked at it before. I stood up.

"I'm going to go take a shower then get something to eat." I said.

I didn't turn around but I could tell he was looking at me. I grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom. I got undressed and looked at myself in the wall of mirrors. I touched the scar between my hipbones then the tattoo at the top of my ribcage, right under my heart. I closed my eyes for a second and breathed in. I opened my eyes then got in the shower. I took my time and allowed myself time to calm down. I did not need to be thinking about this right now. I had a job to do. We still didn't know what our Hydra mission was and I had to worry about that as much as I needed to worry about my SHIELD mission. I let the cold water wash away my cold thoughts.

Once I was done in the shower I got dressed again. I put on a plain black long sleeve v neck and charcoal gray skinny jeans. I put on combat boots and a scarf that had skulls all over it. I changed the stud in my nose to a hoop and put in the rest of my earrings. I couldn't stop getting piercings and tattoos but I loved each and every one of them. My dermals had just healed and I loved the way they looked on my hips. I thought they would distract from my scar but apparently they didn't. I braided my hair in a fishtail braid so I didn't have to worry about drying it. I touched up my makeup and I was ready to go. When I went back out to the living room The Winter Soldier was still sitting there on the chair. I grabbed my purse.

"I'm going out to eat then look around the city a little bit. Would you care to join me or did you want to sit here in the dark and be all broody?"

He looked up at me and glared.

"Come on. I know we are Hydra but damn lighten up a bit will you? It's not all doom and gloom. So are you coming or not?"

He stood up. "I will come so I can look around the city too."

I opened the door and we stepped out into the hallway. I held out my hand and he took it. Time to play the couple again. I saw him look at me and assess all the piercings he had not seen before. We got into the elevator and he leaned over to me.

"Aren't all those tattoos and piercings expensive?" he asked.

I smirked and leaned over to him.

"What makes you think I pay for them?" I replied.

The elevator opened and I pulled him out behind me. We could survey the city later but for now I was starving. I grabbed a pamphlet out of the lobby and looked at all the restaurants.

"What kind of food do you like?" I asked him.

"Doesn't matter to me." He said.

I smirked. "You might regret saying that."

I saw a place that said had amazing sweets and that was where I wanted to go. I ate well to keep in shape but given the opportunity I would always choose cake over anything else. I followed the map to the little shop and made The Winter Soldier stop in there with me. They served soup and sandwiches as well as cake and pie so I knew he would find something. I ordered a sandwich I really didn't care about and a huge slice of chocolate cake with chocolate ganache. I paid no attention to The Winter Soldier as I lovingly ate my cake. It was the most incredible thing I had ever tasted. Since I traveled the world I made a point of trying cake in every city I went to. This one was by far the best of them all. I made happy noises with each bite. I heard him clear his throat and I finally looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you really have to make that noise?" he asked.

"You don't know how good this is. So yes, I do."

"It can't be that good." He said.

I scoffed and put a piece on the fork.

"Here try it and find out." I said.

"No I don't want any cake." He said.

"Come on just try it. Don't be a baby. Just eat the cake." I said pushing the fork at him.

He leaned forward and ate the cake right off of my fork. His lips lightly brushed the tips of my fingers. I felt a little shock of electricity shoot through me and it took me back. I don't know why we just did that. I could say it was just part of the act but it wasn't. I had just fed him cake. I watched as he tasted it. He nodded.

"Okay that is good." He admitted.

"I told you! If you want any more though you will have to get your own. I'm not sharing mine."

He just smirked and ended up getting his own piece as well. I took my time eating my piece. I knew that I would definitely be coming back to this place for as long as we were here. It was getting late and I knew we should take a quick walk around the city before it got dark. We paid our bill, well Hydra paid our bill and we left. We held hands again as we walked through the city. I always held his right hand because I didn't know how he felt about his metal one. I made mental notes of everywhere we went and everything we saw. We still didn't know what the exact mission was but I was assuming we would find out soon enough. They probably wanted us to get a feel for the city and us as a team before we started working. The sun started to go down so we headed back to the hotel.

I changed into a tank top and pajama shorts to sleep in. I took out my braid and let my hair fall loose around my shoulders. I brushed my teeth and washed off all my makeup. When I came out of the bathroom The Winter Soldier was in the bedroom. He was wearing pajama pants and a plain gray t-shirt. I finally saw his metal arm since he had taken the flesh cover off of it. It was beautiful and I still was curious to see and touch it. I could control myself though since that meant I had to show him my scar and that wasn't ever going to happen. I went over to the bed and pulled down the covers.

"I'm sleeping in the bed. You are welcome to sleep in the bed too or you can sleep on the couch. I don't really care." I said crawling under the covers.

"I'm not about to sleep on that couch. The bed is big enough for the both of us." He replied.

He turned off the lights and got into bed next to me. I put a pillow in between us to keep us separate. It was silent until I broke the silence.

"If you kick me I will kick you back just so you know." I said.

He laughed. He actually laughed.

"Fair enough." He said.

The silence came back. I closed my eyes and fell asleep in bed next to The Winter Soldier.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up feeling something cold on me. I opened my eyes and realized it was The Winter Soldier's metal arm. He had his arm draped across me and our bodies were pressed together. He was sound asleep and I did not want to wake him. I tried to ignore the fact that a man was cuddled against me. It brought back old memories that I preferred to keep locked away. I was just about to slip out of his embrace when he started to make noise. At first it was quiet and soft. He was mumbling but I couldn't make out what he was saying. Then he got louder and he began to struggle. He was still mumbling but I managed to decipher one word; Steve. I didn't move because I didn't want to break him out of this trance. He was saying Steve over and over again. So there was some Bucky Barnes still left in there even if it was buried deep. His struggling became more violent and I rolled off the bed to avoid being hit. He began to yell and I was afraid he was going to wake the other guests. I climbed onto the bed and kneeled next to him.

"Hey wake up." I said touching him.

His shirt was soaked in sweat and he was now violently thrashing on the bed. I got on top of him and straddled his hips to pin him down. I grabbed his arms and held them down.

"Hey Winter Soldier, wake up! Come on, wake up. Winter Soldier…Winter Soldier…BUCKY!"

His eyes snapped open and he looked up at me. He was looking at me but he wasn't seeing me. He sat up and flung me off of the bed and onto the floor. His metal hand had struck my face and I could already taste the blood in my mouth. I stood up but stayed out of his way. I went into the bathroom to rinse my mouth out. I could already see the bruise beginning to form. I wetted a towel and wiped the blood from my lips. When I went back into the bedroom The Winter Soldier was sitting up on the bed. He looked at me when I came into the room. I leaned against the doorframe.

"That arm gives one hell of a punch." I said.

He stood up and came over to me. He gently took my chin in his flesh hand. He looked at my busted lip.

"I'm sorry Siren. I didn't mean to do that." He said.

"Evy, call me Evy, and its okay. You didn't know you were doing it."

I realized he was still holding onto my face and I stepped back from him. Wait, did I just tell him my real name? I told him to call me Evy and there were only a handful of people who called me that. I sat down on the bed and pulled out the room service menu. The Winter Soldier looked at me.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. I can go in the other room." He said.

"That's okay. Nothing like being flung across the room to get you going. I'm too awake to go back to sleep. I'm going to order some breakfast. Do you want any?"

He sat down on the bed next to me and looked at the menu. We placed our order then were quiet as we sat on the bed.

"So Evy, is that short for something?" he asked.

"Yeah it's short for Evelyn. What about you? Is there something I can call you other than The Winter Soldier?"

He was quiet for a moment. I could tell he was thinking.

"I don't really have another name that they call me." He said.

I didn't want to ruin the moment or blow my cover but I felt like I could say what I wanted to say. The man sitting here in front of me is not the man who was sitting here yesterday. He had responded when I called him Bucky earlier. I knew he knew a little bit because he was calling out for Steve. Also Steve had told me about their encounter before. I looked at the man in front of me and I noticed he was much softer. He didn't look like a stone soldier anymore. Maybe it was because of the way he held me in his sleep or the gentle way he touched my face. I suddenly felt like this was Bucky in the room with me. I reached out and put my hand on his arm.

"What about Bucky?" I asked.

He looked right into my eyes. He didn't look surprised to hear that.

"I thought I heard you call me that earlier. How did you know about that?" he asked.

"I do my research." I replied. "I won't call you that if you don't want me to."

"You can call me Bucky. The Winter Soldier is too long to say every time you need to get my attention."

Alright Bucky." I said smiling.

"I really am sorry about this Evy." He said as he gently touched my lip.

"It's alright. Trust me, I've had worse."

There was a knock on the door and it was room service. Bucky got up and let them in. We took our breakfast outside to the balcony where we had a beautiful view of the city. We took in the sights and sounds of the city around us. When we were finished with breakfast I took our plates out to the hallway. When I shut the door Bucky was standing right there. He stepped forward and closed the gap between us. He gently tucked my hair behind my ear and rubbed his finger across my cheekbone. I felt something stir in me that I hadn't felt in a long time. I don't even remember making the decision to kiss him but suddenly I was. I reached up and wrapped my fingers in his hair. Bucky pulled me against him and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He wrapped his arms around me and carried me into the bedroom.

Bucky set me down on the bed and our bodies completely took over. It was chemistry, pure and simple. His hands slid under my shirt and found their way to my breasts. I pulled him to me by his pants and slipped my hands into the waistband. The bedroom was dark but I didn't need to see. I only needed to feel. I felt something that I hadn't felt in a very long time. I felt Bucky's hands slid down my waist and to my shorts. He pulled them down and I pulled down his pants. I could feel his erection throbbing in my hands. I grabbed his face and pulled it down to mine. In an instant our hips were joined. It had been so long since I had a man inside me that I had almost forgotten what it was like. I felt every sensation and every thrust like it was the first time all over again. My fingers were wrapped tightly in Bucky's hair as our hips moved in time with each other. All I could feel was him and all I could think about was the buildup I could feel coming. Bucky's thrusts grew faster and wilder. I felt my head hit the headboard and I didn't even mind. My body was seconds from exploding. I bit Bucky's lip and tasted blood in my mouth. He groaned and slammed himself harder into me. My body began to quiver and I could feel the explosion of sensation. I was no longer in my body but somewhere far above it. Bucky's own release came but I was too lost in my own to care.

I was suddenly aware that Bucky had gotten up off the bed. I could hear the sound of knocking on the door. I sat up and pulled my shorts back on. Wait what just happened? What had I just done? I had only ever been with one man in my life and it had turned out to be the worst thing to ever happen to me. I was sent here to bring Bucky back to Steve and now I could have blown everything by fucking him. One moment of lost self-control might have just destroyed years of work. How could I have been so stupid? Bucky came back into the room and he looked different. The cold stone was back. He threw a file down on the bed next to me.

"Our assignment." He said.

I opened the folder and tried to hide my panic. Our assignment was Clint and Natasha. Hawkeye and Black Widow would be in town and we were here to take them out. I looked up at the cold demeanor of The Winter Soldier. Bucky was gone again and I was totally disgusted with myself. I stood up and threw the file on the bed.

"I'm going to take a shower." I said.

"Just hurry up Siren. We have work to do." He replied.

I went into the bathroom and turned on the water then for the first time in a long time I cried.


	5. Chapter 5

The water was scalding hot as I tried to wash off the memory of Bucky's body on mine. I scrubbed every part of me just to remove all traces of him. I had let myself be lost in the moment to him. I was better than this. I stopped crying and took a deep breath. I would not let another man hurt me like this. We had sex so what? People had casual hookups all the time. This was nothing I couldn't handle. It was over now and we had a job to do. Oh shit, our job was Clint and Natasha. I had to figure out what I was going to do and fast. I had to stop The Winter Soldier from going after them without blowing my cover. Everything I was trying to do here got that much more complicated by the fact that we just had sex. Would he want to have sex again? Did he think he could just fuck me and then treat me like it never happened? He called me Siren and not Evy. It was obvious now that I could not call him Bucky anymore. He knocked on the door and said he still needed to shower too.

I got out of the shower and dried off. I realized in my haste to get into the bathroom that I had forgotten to bring my clothes in here with me. I was just going to have to go out there in my towel. What did it matter since we had already had sex? Granted we still had our clothes on but it didn't really matter. I dried my hair the best I could then wrapped my towel around me. I opened the door and a cloud of steam billowed out from behind me. I saw him glance at the parts of my body he could see. I didn't even make eye contact with him as I walked to the dresser. I heard him close the door to the bathroom. Once he was gone I got dressed. I knew today was going to be a long and busy today. I put on a plain black neck and leather leggings. I laced up my combat boots and put on my leather jacket. I brushed my long hair and pulled it up into a ponytail. I made my eyeliner have wings and put on dark red lipstick. It was my signature Night Siren look. If The Winter Soldier wanted The Night Siren then that is what he was going to get.

I went and sat down on the couch while I waited for him to be done. I spent that time thinking about what I was going to do. I had a secret emergency number that I could call Steve at but I had to get rid of The Winter Soldier somehow. Natasha and Clint would be in town next week so I didn't have much time. Hydra had sent us here early to make all the preparations. Natasha knew Russia very well so we had to make sure we knew it better. I was tired of sitting so I got up and packed my purse. I had my fake ID and anything we would possibly need to break into something. Finally The Winter Soldier came out into the living room. He was wearing dark jeans and a plain black jacket with a baseball cap. I stood up and walked to the door without even saying anything to him. He followed behind me and we walked down the hallway in silence. We didn't speak in the elevator but when the doors opened he took my hand. We had to play the happy couple in the lobby so I let him hold my hand. I plastered a fake smile on my face but didn't look up at him. As soon as we got into the parking lot I let go of his hand. We walked over to the car and I walked around to the driver's side.

"I'm driving." I said.

"But I have the keys." He said putting his hand in his pocket.

I held up the keys I had swiped from his pocket when we were walking in the lobby.

"Actually I have the keys."

I got in the driver's side and he stomped around to the passenger's side. I barely gave him time to close the door before I pulled out of the parking lot. We had to meet with our operative in the city and we were already running late. I perfectly maneuvered my way through the city. I already had most of the city figured out. I was comfortable with the silence in the car because I had nothing to say to him.

"So is it going to be like this the whole time now?" he asked.

"Like what?" I asked, not even looking over at him.

"You being all moody and rage driving." He replied.

I could have smacked him across the face in that moment. How dare he say something like that to me. I quickly whipped onto a side street and stopped the car. I turned and looked at him.

"Okay listen close. I'm only going to say this once. We are here to do a job okay. We have one week until Black Widow and Hawkeye arrive and we have plenty to do until then. We don't need to have any of this angst going on. We fucked plain and simple. It happened but it's not going to happen again. I'm normally a solo operator just like you so excuse me if I don't feel the need to speak to you every second. Now I would like to get back to our job what about you?"

I tried to sound like my feelings hadn't been hurt. As much as I hated to admit it, they had been hurt. He was acting like what happened this morning didn't matter at all. Granted, I wished it didn't mean anything that all but weirdly enough it did. I had only given myself to one other person and I felt so strange about giving myself to The Winter Soldier like that. No, I didn't give myself to The Winter Soldier, I gave myself to Bucky but he was no longer here. The same way he stored Bucky away I stored Evy away. We were assassins and assassins didn't have strings. They were cold and they were killers, we were killers. The Winter Soldier simply nodded and didn't say anything to me. I found the address we were to meet at and it was a public garden. I parked the car and we went inside.

Our operative was very strange but then again he was Hydra so I wasn't too surprised. He was an old man who continuously touched flowers while we spoke. He gave us all the information he had on what SHIELD would be doing here in town. The Winter Soldier wanted to check out some of the information right away and that gave me the perfect opportunity to call Steve. We were going to check out separate locations and meet back at the hotel later. I dropped him off and went to my location. I parked the car and found the closest public phone. I dialed the number I committed to memory and listened while it rang. Finally Steve picked up.

"Evy? What's wrong?"

"Well hello to you too Steve." I said.

"Sorry hi Evy. I just thought something might be wrong since you never call on here." He replied.

"Well something is wrong but it's not an emergency. I'm in Russia and I'm with Bucky. Well I'm with The Winter Soldier actually."

"Wait you are actually with him? Well what is he like? Is he Bucky? Does he know anything or remember?" Steve asked quickly.

"Hold on there Steve. I am here with him because we are working a mission together. He has been cold and distant the whole time except for this morning. He was having a nightmare of some sorts. He was calling out your name. When I woke him up he was different for a while. He was nicer and he actually had me call him Bucky. I thought I had made a breakthrough but then our assignment got delivered and he was right back to the stone."

I didn't have to see Steve to know he was hanging on every word I said. I didn't want to give him false hope but I also felt like he needed to know. I obviously left out the part about us having sex. Not only would he be angry at me but he would probably fly out here and kick Bucky's ass. He was way too protective of me.

"Okay so you are telling me there is a chance he remembers something? Bucky might still be in there?" he asked.

"I don't know yet Steve. That's not the only reason I called though. Our mission is Clint and Nat. You need to let them know that we are here but they can't change any of their plans. I don't want Hydra to suspect anything. Tell them to keep right on track while I try and control things from this end."

"Okay Evy. I will let them know. Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"I don't know. I just wanted to make sure. You sounded a little off. I know it's close to that time of year so I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

I was silent. How had Steve remembered that the anniversary was coming up but I hadn't? Next week it would be 6 years since the day my life fell apart. My heart felt like it was going to split open just thinking about it.

"Evy…are you still there?"

"Yeah sorry. I'm okay Steve. Just let Nat and Clint know. I will be in touch. I have to get going now though. I love you Steve and I will talk to you soon."

"Alright I love you too Evy. I will be thinking about you next week."

I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. It had been so long since I had talked to Steve that I forgot how much I missed him. I wanted more than anything to go be with him next week and let him hug me until I felt better. He never failed to cheer me up even when I was at my darkest. I knew I couldn't abandon my mission though. I was here for Steve. I was here to bring Bucky back to him. I straightened up and went back to the car. I would go scout out the location I was given and then I would go back to the hotel. The mission must go on.


	6. Chapter 6

Every day that passed was another day closer to Nat and Clint being here and I still hadn't figured out what to do yet. I made it clear that The Winter Soldier was not welcome to sleep in the bed with me. He had resigned himself to sleeping on the couch. Our interactions had been cold and businesslike. I hadn't seen any more glimpses of Bucky since that first day. He was all Winter Soldier all the time. After spending a week with him I was becoming discouraged that maybe Bucky was gone forever. I had seen what Hydra could do with brainwashing. After Steve sounded so hopeful I knew this was going to break his heart.

I didn't have to look at the calendar to know what day it was. At 3:05am on this day 6 years ago I fell in love then at 6:27 that same day my heart was ripped from my chest. I would never forget the events of that day for as long as I lived. They haunted me and led me to the place that I am today. I touched the tattoo just under my heart and tried my best to remember what that love felt like. Usually I took the day off and stayed away from all humanity except for when Steve forced me to let him in. It was a day that I wanted to be alone but I couldn't. I had a job to do.

I was lying in bed trying to will myself to get up when I heard commotion coming from the living room. I was only wearing a tank top and panties but I ran out there anyway. I expected to see The Winter Soldier fighting someone but instead he looked like he was fighting himself. It was just like what happened that first night. I was hesitant to get involved but I was afraid he was going to wreck the hotel room. We still had this room for another week and I didn't want to blow our cover before then. He was mumbling again but it was getting louder. I got on top of him the same way I did before but this time I made sure to really hold down his metal arm. I didn't even both with The Winter Soldier stuff. I could see that right now he was Bucky.

"Bucky, come on, snap out of it. Wake up Bucky." I said.

His struggling only increased and I had to make a choice. I let go of his arms with the risk that he could hit me. I put my hands on his face.

"Bucky, wake up. Come on, come back."

His eyes opened but he struggled to track my face. I held his face tightly in my hands.

"It's okay Bucky. I'm here. It's okay."

He finally looked right at me.

"Evy?"

"Yeah, it's me. Are you back with me?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah I'm here. I just…sometimes I get these flashes of memories. They can be a little bit overwhelming. I'm sorry."

It was quiet for a moment. I think he was trying to straighten things out in his head. Suddenly he put his hands on my waist.

"Oh god Evy, I'm so sorry. I mean for what I did. Sometimes The Winter Soldier just takes over and I can't get back."

I knew his words were genuine but I just couldn't do this right now, not today. I couldn't deal with his hands on my waist so I got off of him. I started to leave the room and he called my name. I stopped but didn't turn around.

"I really am sorry Evy. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Its fine." I replied before I left the room.

I put my robe on and stepped outside onto the balcony. I needed the space and the fresh air right now. I noticed something at the edge of the balcony and I went over to it. There was a single red rose and I knew it was from Nat. Every year on the anniversary she gave me a rose. It meant so much to me that she still thought to give one to me today. I held the rose against me and breathed in the smell of it. As much as I wanted to keep it I knew that I couldn't take it back into that hotel room. I kissed the rose then dropped it from the balcony. I watched it fall and then be swept away by the wind. I sat up on the wall and leaned against the building. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the city. I had to keep it together today. I unconsciously put my hand over my scar and gently felt the raised flesh. It had gotten smaller over the years but I would always know it was there. He was so quiet I didn't even hear the door open. Suddenly Bucky was standing in front of me. He looked worried.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I took my hand off my scar and sat up straight.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm going to go take a shower." I said getting down from the wall.

I could tell he wanted to talk to me but I wasn't interested. The last time he was Bucky for a little bit I made the mistake of letting him in. I was not about to open myself up to that again. I took a shower and got dressed. When I walked out into the living room Bucky was sitting on the couch. He looked up at me and I swear I could see tears in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I can't do this." He said.

"Do what?"

"I can't be The Winter Soldier anymore. More and more of my memories are coming back and I know the person I used to be. I can't kill these people anymore." He said then put his head in his hands.

I sat down across from him. Was this it? Was Bucky finally here for good? I put my hand on his arm and he looked up at me. I could see it in his eyes. I had learned to read people long ago and I could see it here. He didn't want to be The Winter Soldier anymore. This really was Bucky.

"Bucky look at me. I'm here to help."

"But you are Hydra. I have to go. I have to leave." He said standing up.

He headed for the door but I grabbed his arm.

"Bucky don't leave. I'm not Hydra. I'm SHIELD. You have been my mission all along."

"Your mission?" he asked pulling his arm out of my grasp.

"Yes, what I mean is that I have been in Hydra all this time to get to you. To get to Bucky not The Winter Soldier. I was sent here to bring you home."

Bucky put his hands on his head.

"Wait what? Why would you be here for me? To bring me home? What home?" he asked.

"Back to that kid in Brooklyn." I said.

Bucky looked at me and I grabbed his face. I made him look right into my eyes.

"Bucky you look at me and see if I am telling the truth. Look right into my eyes. I am here to help you. Trust me and I can help you. I am not Hydra. I am not The Night Siren. I am Evy. Can you trust me?"

He looked right into my eyes and I saw the layers melting away. He nodded his head.

"Yes I trust you Evy."


	7. Chapter 7

I grabbed Bucky's arm and pulled him into the bedroom. I started taking my clothes out of the drawers and packing them in my suitcase.

"We need to go now. If we are bailing then we need to bail now." I said.

Bucky was still standing there and now moving. I went over and held his face in my hands. I made him look into my eyes.

"Bucky, are you with me? Our operative is going to be expecting us soon and we need to get the hell out of here. Now are we doing this or not."

Bucky closed the distance between us and pulled me against him. Before I even know what was happening his lips were on mine. This kiss was different than the last time. Our last kiss had been all physical. We were desperate for each other's bodies. They were kissed of need and lust. This kiss was soft and gentle. I was a caring kiss. It was quick and then he let go of me. He brushed his thumb over my cheekbone.

"I'm with you. Let's go." He said.

I didn't have time to think about what that kiss just meant because we were frantically packing. I went around the hotel room and erased every trace of us ever being there. Bucky was getting dressed and pulling on the flesh covering for his metal arm. We needed to get on a plane so we needed to blend in. I quickly traded my all black and leather outfit for a sundress with my leather jacket and converse. I left my hair down and grabbed a pair of fake glasses. Bucky was wearing a simple hoodie and jeans. We looked very plain which was perfect. Our bags were packed and we were ready to go.

"I'm assuming you have you own back up ID's." I said.

"Yes, I do. Any assassin worth their salt has a separate secret identity." He replied.

We quickly go to the garage. We didn't bother to check out. We just needed to get on the road. I headed for the jeep and Bucky stopped me.

"We should probably take a different car." He said.

"Good point. Let's just clear out the jeep though."

We quickly got everything out of the jeep and wiped it down. We picked out an inconspicuous four door and I hotwired the car. Bucky threw our things in the back and got in beside me.

"So where are we going?" he asked.

"Scotland. I have a safe house there."

I didn't want to go to the same airport we flew in from so we decided to find another airport. Bucky nodded but didn't say anything more. It was a long drive to the next airport and we were silent all the way there. We were both deep in thought. I didn't know what was on Bucky's mind but mine was a jumble of thought. My mind was already so full from it being the anniversary and then there was the kiss. What was that?

I finally pulled into the airport. We didn't bother to pay for the parking. It didn't matter to us. We used out other ID's and a fake credit card to get seats on the first plane to Scotland, which just so happened to be leaving in half an hour. Finally luck was on our side. Once we were on the plane I felt like I could relax. We were on the run but it would take Hydra a bit to catch up. I settled into my seat next to a still silent Bucky. I might as well get some sleep.

I woke up feeling someone touching my hair. No not touching, stroking. I opened my eyes but didn't move. I realized that I was still on the plane. My head had somehow found its way into Bucky's lap. I was his hand in my hair that I was feeling. His touch was gentle and it actually felt really good. I hadn't felt a touch like this since I had last been with Steve. Even Steve's touch was different from this. This touch reminded me of how I used to be with Jason. With that thought I quickly sat up and Bucky let go of me.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep in your lap." I said.

"That's alright. We are about to land." He replied.

Wow, I had slept through that whole flight. How long had I been sleeping in his lap. I did my best to stretch in my seat while I waited for the plane to land. The woman in the row across form us tapped my arm.

"You two are adorable. I saw the way he gently held you in your sleep. You had the sweetest smile on your face."

I could feel the blush spreading across my face. Bucky was pretending not to listen but I knew he was.

"Oh uh thanks." I replied, not knowing what else to say.

She just smiled then turned back to her seat. I felt super awkward about that. I had no idea I had been smiling in my sleep. We both pretended like that didn't happen. When we finally got off the plane we headed outside.  
"It might be a little risky to steal a car again. We can either rent one or take a taxi." I said.

"I have some cash so we can get a taxi. Then there will be no record of us here." He said.

We managed to get a taxi. I gave him the address and in no time we were driving down dirt roads. I gave him the address of a house a few miles away from the actual house. I think we could manage to walk that far and it meant that no one would know where we had gone. Bucky paid the man and looked out the house in front of us.

"Is this it?" he asked.

"No it's actually a couple miles away. Hope you don't mind walking."

The sun was just beginning to come up as we were walking down the dirt roads. The sky was a beautiful shade of orange. Finally I saw the cottage come into view. I got excited and started to speed up a little. This place was my home away from home and I hadn't been here in a while. I didn't realized how much I missed it until I saw it again. I swung open the front gate and practically ran up the steps. I pressed my thumb to the lock on the front door and it opened. I set my bags down and flopped onto the couch. I took a deep breath and sighed. I was home.

Once I got Bucky settled in the guest bedroom I took my things to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed then laid back on it. I realized as I looked at the sun coming in the window that today was a new day. I had made it through another anniversary. We were so busy running yesterday that I hadn't got the time to really wallow in the day and I was thankful for that. I then realized that I had accomplished something else. My mission was to get to Bucky and I had done it. I was here with Bucky now and he was really himself, well trying to find himself again. I had to call Steve and update him. He needed to know what was going on and to tell Nat and Clint.

I knocked on the door to Bucky's room and there was no answer. I gently opened the door and saw him sprawled out on the bed. He was sound asleep. He must not have slept the entire we were on the plane. I carefully pulled his boots off and set them on the floor. I grabbed a blanket and gently laid it across him. I don't know why I did but I leaned down and softly kissed his lips. I silently crept out of the room and down the stairs. I sat down in the living room and took out the emergency phone. I dialed Steve's number and waited while it rang. I could feel my heartrate picking up with every second. Finally he answered.

"Hello Evy." He said.

"Hey Steve. So I have some news for you."

"Oh yeah? What is it?" he asked.

"Bucky's back."

 **Hey Readers! So I was hoping I could get some feedback! I love comments and I would love to hear from each and every one of you! Please tell me what you think!**


	8. Chapter 8

"What? Bucky is with you?" Steve asked.

"Yeah Steve, it's actually Bucky. He said he wanted to leave and he couldn't be The Winter Soldier anymore. I know he is telling the truth. I can see it in his eyes. I told him the truth too. He knows I work for SHIELD."

"Where are you? I'm coming there." He said.

"No, you can't. We are in Scotland at my place but you can't come. Bucky is so fragile right now and I think he just needs some time. I don't want to overwhelm him." I said.

"Well are you at least safe? Does Hydra know you abandoned your mission yet?"

"We are okay. Hydra might know by now but they shouldn't be able to find us here. I'm sorry Steve. I'm sorry you can't come out here yet." I said sighing.

"It's okay Evy. I understand. Just take care of yourself okay. Be careful." He said sounding concerned.

"I will. I promise to call as well. Maybe you can come in a few weeks."

"I would like that. I love you Evy."

"I love you too Steve. Talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone and turned around to see Bucky standing there. Woah how long had he been standing there?

"Oh Bucky. I thought you were asleep." I said.

"I was. Who is Steve?" he asked.

"Steve Rogers. You know, Captain America."

He sat down across from me and looked concerned.

"Umm, well you love him?" he asked.

"Yes, but not in the way you are thinking. Steve is like my brother. He is really the only family I have left." I said.

He seemed to relax a little.

"Oh okay. I was worried that what happened between us was wrong." He said.

Was he referring to the time we fucked or when we kissed? To me the kiss was more intimate because it felt like more. I didn't know what to say to that so I sort of threw it back at him.

"Well it was.t cheating if that's what you meant. Do you think what we did was wrong?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so at all." He simply stated.

I just nodded. I wasn't really sure what else was left to say so I changed the subject.

"I'm going to head to the grocery store and get some things so we have food in the house. You can stay here and sleep some more if you want."

"Yeah I think I will do that." He said standing up.

"Oh and don't leave the house or it will lock you out. I can work on getting your prints in there later." I said.

"Alright. See you later." He said before heading back up the stairs.

I grabbed my purse and went to the garage. I pulled the tarp off my car and dust flew everywhere. It was just an ordinary cat that I knew would blend in nicely. There was only one grocery store nearby that I remembered exactly how to get to. I didn't want to be away from Bucky for too long so I hurried through the store. I grabbed the essentials and things I knew I could make meals from. I wasn't in town often enough for people to recognize me so I looked like someone just passing through. I got my groceries and headed back to the cottage. I had plenty of time to think about things but I chose not to. I didn't have a plan but I didn't want to. I decided I was going to take this day by day. I didn't want to press Bucky too hard. If his memories were going to come back then they would come back. There wasn't a while lot I could do about it.

…

Two Weeks Later

Progress with Bucky was extremely slow going. I could see that he was trying so hard to figure everything out. He had his moments of absolute clarity then it would be gone. He was never fully The Winter Soldier again but he certainly wasn't fully Bucky Barnes either. There is no word to describe the relationship that has developed between us while we are at my cottage. When he was more Bucky he was sweet and caring. When he wasn't sure who he was he became distant. I couldn't get him to talk to me when he was in those moods. I had woken him from a nightmare on more than one occasion. When he was Bucky we were able to have conversations and laugh together. I had come to care a lot about Bucky in this time. I didn't really know what that meant. All I knew is that it hurt when he was distant. I didn't understand the feelings I felt. My heart didn't work anymore so how could I ever feel anything again?

I was lying on the couch reading a book when I heard Bucky come in the front door. I was wearing a sweater dress and tights since the Scottish air was a bit cold. Bucky came in and sat on the edge of the couch next to me. He smiled at me and leaned over my book.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"Just some Jane Austen. I've read it before but it's one of the only books I have here."

"Oh we will have to get you some new ones then so you don't die of boredom."

I scooted over to give him more room to sit. He leaned down and kissed my cheek then moved my hair out of my face. He was looking at me with a look in his eyes that I didn't really understand.

"Evy, you are so beautiful." He said quietly.

I was startled by those words. I had not expected him to say that. Even though we had become a lot closer we had not kissed again. I felt so conflicted about my feelings for Bucky but in that moment I couldn't help myself. I reached up and slid my fingers into his hair. I pulled his face down to mine and pressed our lips together. Bucky didn't pull away from the kiss but instead deepened it. I felt his hands in my hair as he pulled himself closer to me. Suddenly Bucky stopped. He pulled back and looked at me.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

My heart was beating so fast that I could hardly breathe.

"I'm sure if you are." I replied.

Bucky quickly picked me up and carried me up the stairs. He shoved open the door to my bedroom then set me down on the bed.

"I want to do this right." He said.

He took off his shoes and his shirt then climbed onto the bed with me. I hadn't seen him shirtless very much and it was an incredible sight. His body was so toned and perfect. He made his way over to me and put his hands under my dress. I lifted up my arms and he pulled the dress off of me. I watched Bucky's eyes fill with longing as he looked at my body. I was wearing a black lace bra and thong with my black tights. He slowly slid the tights down my legs. I could feel my body heating up with every moment that passed. I lay back on the bed and Bucky put his body over top of mine. He leaned down and kissed me gently. His hands slid up the curves of my body. The cold metal of his arm made me shiver. I moved my hands to his pants and I unzipped them. I slipped my hand inside and smirked. I should have known that Bucky would be someone to go commando. I could feel his erection pulsing in my hand.

I pulled his pants the rest of the way off of him and he threw them to the floor. Bucky's flesh hand traveled down my body to in between my legs. He pulled my thong off and it joined the rest of our clothes on the floor. I unsnapped my bra and watched Bucky's eyes grow dark when he saw my breasts. His eyes flicked over every part of my body. I realized that this was the first time in almost 7 years that I had been completely naked in front of anyone. I didn't have time to feel self-conscious or think about it because my attention was pulled elsewhere. I moaned as I felt Bucky slip his finger inside of me. My walls instantly became wetter as his fingers moved inside of me. I felt like I was going to explode from the sensation and I desperately needed him inside of me.

I wrapped my arms around Bucky and ran my hands down his back. I dug my fingers into his backside and pulled him towards me. His lips joined with mine again as he withdrew his fingers. I felt his hands on my breasts as he slowly slid inside of me. His thumbs gently rubbed my nipples as his cock moved in and out of me. This time was so much different than the last time we had sex. The last time we had fucked but this time felt more like making love. Bucky's moved slowly and precisely like he was savoring every feeling and every moment. This time we could see each other and we looked into each other's eyes as our bodies moved together. His thrusts were deep and passionate. I held onto him in a desperate need to feel more of him. Our skin slid against each other's and I could feel the butterflies beginning to form. I could see it in his face that Bucky was in paradise. I moaned and said his name. His face lit up even more than it had before.

"Oh Evy…cum for me." He whispered in my ear.

It sent shivers up my spin and I felt myself beginning to feel it. I grabbed onto his waist to hold us closer and moaned out his name again. I was completely lost to him in this moment. I felt my body begin to explode around me.

"Oh god Bucky!" I cried out.

Bucky moaned above me as his own release came. I could feel him inside of me and all around me.

"Mmm Evy." He said.

Our hips continued their movements even though our heads were in the clouds. We finally came down from the clouds and our bodies were still shaking. I could hear us both struggling to breathe again. Bucky withdrew from me and lay down next to me. We were quiet as we came back to reality. That had been so different from anything I had ever experienced before. I turned to Bucky and saw that he was looking at me. His eyes were still taking in all off my body but I did not feel shy about it. He looked like he was thinking.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

He looked up at my face.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure." I replied.

He reached out and touched the scar between my hipbones. The scar that no one had ever seen before, the scar that told the story of the darkest day of my life. I didn't like that he was looking at it and touching it. As I looked at him though I could see the genuine concern in his eyes. He really wanted to know what had hurt me here. I don't know why I wanted to tell him but I did. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to tell him the story that only 2 other people knew.

"It's a C-Section scar."

 **Hey Readers! I really really really want to hear from you! Please if you are reading this let me know what you think! I would be eternally grateful!**


	9. Chapter 9

7 Years Ago

My hands shook as I walked down the dorm hall. I had never been so nervous in all my life. I was about to go tell Jason I was pregnant and it was going to change everything. We were only 18 and had just started college. I knew we weren't serious about each other. We were just fucking around but now it had gotten serious. As soon as I stepped into that room and said those two words everything was going to change. I knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. A few seconds later Jason answered the door. Even though I knew he wasn't serious about me I had fallen for him hard. He was so handsome and funny. He never failed to make me laugh. I understood going into this that he was a player though. I had heard many girls talking about him those first few months of college. I couldn't help that I had fallen for it. I had completely lost myself to him. He smiled at me when he opened the door.

"Oh hey babe what's up?" he asked.

"Are you busy right now?" I asked.

He stepped aside and let me into his room. I could see that he had just been sitting playing video games. He grabbed me and kissed me as soon as he shut the door.

"I'm never too busy for you baby." He said.

I could already feel him tugging at my clothes. I knew if I let him go on any longer that we would end up fucking instead of talking. I quickly let go of him and pulled back.

"No I can't Jason. I need to talk to you right now." I said.

"Talk? What about?" he asked.

"Can we sit down?"

"Uh yeah sure I guess. Evy you are kinda freaking me out." He said sitting down on his bed.

I sat down next to him but didn't look up at him. I was looking down at my hands in my lap. How was I going to say these two words that would change everything? Jason grabbed my hands and looked at me.

"Evy what is it? Please tell me." He said.

"Jason, I'm pregnant." I said in barely a whisper.

He let go of my hands and stood up. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Wait are you sure? Like you are absolutely sure that you are pregnant?"

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure. I went to the doctor. I have the sonogram, here." I handed him the picture.

He held the picture in his hand. The undeniable proof that there was a child growing inside of me. He was pacing the room and I knew he was trying to rationalize everything in his head.

"Jason, I know it is a lot to take in."

He stopped pacing and looked at me.

"Are you sure it is mine?" he asked.

I felt like I had been kicked in the heart. How could he think that let alone say that out loud to me? I had never been with anyone other than Jason and he knew that.

"What? Of course it is yours. How could you even ask that?" I said standing up to face him.

"I don't know Evelyn. I don't know you all that well. You could have been sleeping with someone else. How could you have let this happen?"

Every word he spoke made me want to punch him in the face.

"How could I have let this happen? It's not just my fault Jason! This baby is half your responsibility too! I couldn't have done it on my own!" I yelled.

"Damn it Evelyn. What are we going to do about this? I don't want to be a father." He said.

I could feel my anger rising with every second. I knew that he didn't love me the way that I loved him but I didn't realize he thought so little of me. His words were slowly ripping out my heart. I stood there not knowing what to say. I loved Jason with everything I had in me and I thought that he could at least be there for me. As I looked at him here though I felt nothing but hatred. He didn't want me and he didn't want our baby. In that moment I felt nothing but the desire to protect my child. I wanted to protect them from Jason. My child would not spend their life wondering why their daddy didn't want them. I looked at him with a fury that I'm sure he had never seen the likes of before.

"Don't look at me like that Evy. I didn't ask for this." He said.

"And you think I did? Don't worry Jason I'm letting you out of this. You can just pretend like this never happened. We don't need you anyways."

I turned and headed out the door and down the hall. I half expected him to chase after me but he didn't. I walked straight down the hall to my dorm room and packed up my things. I put all my belongings in my car and drove over to admissions. I dropped out of college and got back into my car. I had no family to run to and no friends to support me. It didn't matter to me though. I was going to do this on my own. I put my hand over my still flat belly.  
"It's just you and me now baby. We have each other and I will never let you go." I said.

8 Months Later

A random town I had never heard of before and I job I didn't like, that was my life. The day I left school I kept driving until I couldn't drive any more. I ended up in a random town with a random diner that just so happened to be in need of a waitress. I had enough money saved up to rent a small 1 room apartment. The past 8 months I had been working at the truck stop diner and I hated every moment of it. I was so close to my due date that I knew I should not be working anymore but I couldn't because I needed the money. The other waitresses had problems of their own so they never asked about mine. We were coworkers but we were far from friends. I was truly alone. The only thing that kept me going was my baby girl. I loved her more fiercely than I had ever loved anyone or anything. Every time I felt her move inside of me my heart lit up again. I had moved away but I still had the same number. Jason never made any attempt to contact me. He made it very clear that he was not interested in our daughter's life and that was fine with me. I did not want him around anyways since I knew he would only bring heartache. I had learned to shut off my emotions towards Jason. Sure, he was the father of my daughter but to me that meant he was nothing more than a sperm donor. My daughter would have me and that was all she would need. I had been alone for my entire pregnancy and I would raise Mia all on my own.

I struggled to fit into my waitress uniform. The fabric was tight and not very breathable. Every time that I had to put it on I wanted to vomit. I was only 3 days away from my due date and I felt like I was the size of a Buick. My large belly was constantly bumping into things at work and making it difficult for me to do things. My whole body ached from being on my feet all day. I hardly made enough money to keep the lights on but I had no other choice. I had to keep going for Mia. I had managed to save up enough money for a meager amount of baby supplies. I couldn't afford a crib though so I knew she was going to have to sleep in the bed with me. As I got dressed for work I felt very off. I felt like the world was spinning and my back was killing me. I couldn't miss work though because I needed the money. I already knew I was going to have to take time off when I had Mia so I needed all the work I could get right now. The diner was a few blocks from my apartment so I always walked since it saved money. I was just about to round the corner when I could feel my body starting to give out. My knees began to quake and I started seeing black spots. I remember seeing a stranger running up to me before it all went dark.

I woke up with bright lights all around me. I had no idea where I was but my whole body felt terrible. I could feel pain shooting through my abdomen and my first thought was Mia. I put my hands on my large rounded belly and could feel the skin was tight underneath. I realized I was in a hospital and I looked around. A nurse came into the room and smiled at me.

"There you are dear. Welcome back. Do you know where you are?" She asked.

"I'm at a hospital right?" I asked.

"Yes, it seems you passed out on the street. You are actually in labor now. Isn't that exciting sweetie? You are going to meet your little one today. Is there anyone you would like to call?"

I felt slightly saddened that I was here all alone. I was going to do this all by myself. Then I became excited about my baby. She was coming today. I was finally going to hold my little Mia in my arms.

"No, it's just me." I said.

The nurse smiled at me sweetly and touched my arm.

"Well don't you worry pumpkin. I'm Suzie and I just clocked in for a very long shift. I promise that I will be here with you if you need me." She said.

I was touched at her kindness. I could see in her eyes that she was being genuine.

"Thank you Suzie, I'm Evy."

"Nice to meet you Evy. Now why don't we just settle in since you are going to be here for a while. Babies do like to take their sweet time."

She fluffed my pillows and turned on the TV, giving me the remote. I lay back in the bed and actually enjoyed that for the moment I was allowed to relax. By the end of the day I was going to be a mother. Even though the contractions were the most painful thing I had ever experienced I knew it would be worth it. My little girl would be in my arms in no time.


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky's fingers gently felt the scar. I couldn't even begin to describe how weird it was to have someone looking at the scar and touching it. I didn't even touch it very often.

"A C-Section? Like from a baby?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes from a baby."

He looked at me and I could see he had a thousand questions in his head.

"So…you have a child then?" he asked.

This was the hardest part of the story but I knew I couldn't stop now. I had to tell him the rest.

"Yes, well I did have a child. I had a daughter named Mia."

6 Years Ago

Suzie was right there by my side as I tried once again to push. I had been in labor for the past 21 hours and I felt like I was going to die. It was more pain that I had ever experienced in my life. Suzie had been off the clock for hours now but stayed by my side. I couldn't believe that someone could be so nice to a person they didn't know. I had already been pushing for an hour and nothing was happening. Every time I pushed it took more of the energy that I already didn't have. I could see that the doctor was looking worried. Suzie just smiled at me reassuringly and wiped the sweat off of me.

"It's okay pumpkin. You are doing great." She said.

I didn't feel like I was doing great. I could hardly even keep my eyes open and I thought for sure I would never be able to walk again. My body hurt so badly and I could feel the will to press on leaving me with every failed attempt at pushing. The doctor got up and came over to my side.

"Okay Evelyn it seems that your baby is being a little bit stubborn. I don't think pushing is going to work for you. We are going to have to do a C-Section." She said.

I began to panic. Why wasn't the pushing working? Was something wrong? I had never had surgery before in my life. I had no idea what to expect. I also knew the C-Sections made for longer recovery times. I didn't have time for that because I was about to become a single mother. Suzie reached out and gently rubbed my belly.

"It's alright Evy. A C-Section is nothing to worry about. People get them all the time." She said.

I trusted Suzie even though I didn't know her. She had such a loving and gentle soul that I couldn't help but want to be around her. I signed some papers and I was whisked away to another room. Suzie was allowed to stay with me since I didn't have anyone else. They prepped me for surgery and suddenly I couldn't feel my body anymore. I was relieved that the pain was finally gone but I felt panic at not being able to move. I looked up and Suzie was right there above me. I couldn't see what was happening but she was watching. She smiled down at me.

"Won't be long now Evy. You can hold that little girl soon."

I couldn't feel pain but I could feel strange sensations of pulling. I wanted to badly to know what was happening. Finally Suzie smiled down at me and the room was filled with the sounds of tiny cries. Suzie stepped away from me for a moment and then returned with Mia in her arms. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. Tears began to flow from my eyes as I looked at the little life I had created. It was 3:05am and my life had just begun.

"Look at her mommy. She is beautiful. We are just going to let the nurses and doctors check her out and get you all stitched up."

I felt every second that Mia was not in my arms. I longed to hold her. I could see a team of nurses gathered around her and it had me worried. They stitched me up and moved me to a recovery room. I waited for them to bring Mia to me and finally Suzie came around the corner with her. I could tell the minute she walked in the room that something was wrong. She came over to me and set Mia in my arms. I looked at the tiny face and I fell in love. She was absolutely perfect. Suzie sat down next to me and I could feel the sadness rolling off of her.

"Evy, sweetheart I need to tell you something." She said.

I tightened my grip on Mia. I knew something was wrong.

"What? What is wrong with my baby?" I asked with tears already pricking at the corners of my eyes.

She reached out and put her hand on my leg. I could see there were tears in her eyes.

"The doctors noticed something wrong with Mia immediately. It's a heart defect Evy. They said that she won't last very long, maybe a few hours at the most. There is nothing they can do. I'm so sorry pumpkin."

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces as those words sunk into my head. My little girl, the beautiful little girl I held in my arms was going to die.

…

Present Time

I could see Bucky's emotions all over his face as I told him the whole story of Jason and Mia. I told him every detail and I could see his anger, his hope and his heartbreak.

"I got to have her for 2 hours and 17 minutes. I memorized every single inch of her so I could always keep her memory with me. She had my nose and her hair was already dark like mine. Her eyes were a light blueish green but I think they would have turned bright green like her father's. At 6:27am she left this world wrapped in my arms. I buried my daughter and went home alone. I turned to rage and violence and that is how SHIELD found me." I said, finishing my story.

Bucky took his hands and put them on my cheeks. He wiped away the tears that I hadn't even realized had escaped when I spoke.

"Evy, words cannot express how sorry I am for you. I cannot even imagine what that would have been like." He said.

"It's worse than anything I have ever endured. I've been tortured, I've been shot, and I've broken more bones than I can count but that tops it all. I can't even communicate how it feels to spend 9 months creating a life only to have it taken from you only hours after it comes to be. I've never loved anything or anyone as much as I did Mia and I don't think I ever will again."

Bucky pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around me. We were quiet and I could hear the thumping of his heartbeat against my ear. Telling that story never got any easier and I had only ever told it twice. Bucky gently stroked my hair and it actually began to comfort me.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Evy. I'm so sorry." He whispered.

I could feel his warmth and his caring energy around me. I felt the pain start to drift away as my body grew tired. His fingers continued to comb through my hair and his heartbeat kept steady time in his chest. I could feel sleep taking my over. Telling that story was exhausting and I could feel it taking its toll. My eyes fluttered closed and I felt Bucky kiss my forehead before I fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**I hope everyone is enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it. I threw in a little of Bucky's point of view in this chapter for you so let me know what you think of it!**

I woke up feeling warmth. It was not just warmth physically but I could feel warmth in my soul. Bucky's arms were wrapped firmly around me and he held me against him. I didn't regret telling him about Mia. Steve and Nat were the only other people who had ever heard that story. I felt like Bucky and I were connected on a deeper level now and that kind of scared me. I barely knew him yet I felt like I had known him forever. I didn't give my trust easily and especially not to men. I don't know why I felt like I could trust Bucky but here wrapped in his arms it almost felt possible. He held me against him like he wanted to protect me. He was sound asleep so I knew he was doing it subconsciously. My stomach growled and I realized I was starving. We hadn't gotten the chance to eat since we had come to bed instead. I carefully lifted Bucky's arm and slid out from underneath it. I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top and quietly snuck out of the bedroom. I decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches because it just sounded really good to me. I started making the sandwiches and I knew it wouldn't be long before Bucky smelled them and wandered downstairs.

…

Bucky's POV

I woke up and realized the bed was empty next to me. I could faintly smell something cooking so I knew Evy must have gone to the kitchen. I sat up and looked at the room around me. Our clothes were strewn around everywhere. Most things in my life were so confusing but with Evy everything was different. When I held her in my arms she just felt right. I had a hard time figuring out who I was and who I wanted to be. These past weeks knowing Evy made it better. I hated that I had hurt so by being The Winter Soldier after the first time we had sex. I never wanted to make her feel like that ever again.

I thought about the moment we had shared here in this bed. We had made love and afterwards she had told me her most treasured secret. My heart broke for all the pain that Evy endured with the loss of her daughter. I had noticed the tiny footprint tattoo right under her breast which I assumed was for Mia. I could see in her eyes just how much losing her daughter had killed her. Evy was the most amazing person I had ever met. She had been through so much pain and tragedy but she kept going. She could have turned away from the world and become a real Hydra killer like I had. Instead she became SHIELD. She told me she loved Steve Rogers like a brother which means she did all this for him. She had been let down by everyone in her life yet she refused to let Steve down. I didn't want to be that next person to let her down. I wanted to be there for her. Evy deserved to have someone who cared for her again. She deserved to feel love. I wanted desperately to be that person to give it to her but how could I? I could barely keep myself straight most of the time. I was thinking too much and it was giving me a headache. My stomach began to growl as I smelled more of the food. I got up and pulled on my pants and headed down the stairs. I saw Evy in the kitchen and the sight took my breath away. Her long black hair was pulled up in a bun. She was wearing a tank top that hugged her curves like a second skin and didn't quite reach her tiny shorts she was wearing. I could see all the tattoos that adorned her arms and legs. They each told a story about her and one day I was going to find out what those stories were.

…

Evy's POV

I looked up when Bucky came into the room. He was wearing just his pants and the view was incredible. The pants hung low on his hips and his hair was still all messed from my fingers being in it. The sight of him was enough to make me feel all tingly again. Here in the daylight I could see his entire metal arm and where it crudely attached to his shoulder. It looked like it had to have been excruciating. I put his grilled cheese on a plate and gave it to him.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked.

He took his plate and sat down at the table.

"Yeah did you?" he asked still watching me.

I took my plate and sat down at the table next to him.

"Yeah I did. I was hungry and I figured you would be too. I hope you like grilled cheese." I said.

"I do. I don't even remember the last time I had one."

He took a bite and smiled. He set his hand on my leg as we ate our sandwiches. I don't know what the hand meant but neither of us moved and I didn't really want him to move it. After I finished my sandwich I wiped off my hands and turned towards him. I was still very curious about his metal arm.

"Can I touch this?" I asked.

He usually made sure he was on the side of me so that he could touch me with his flesh hand. I don't think he liked his metal arm very much. He slowly turned towards me and set his arm down on the table. He held his hand palm up and I gently touched the cold metal. I worked my fingers all the way up to where it connected to his shoulder. I wanted to feel the intricate details of it.

"It's beautiful." I said.

"It's not beautiful. It's a weapon created by Hydra. It was built to make me better at killing." He said.

"That may be true but the craftsmanship is incredible. I bet Stark would love to see it."

He pulled his arm off the table and left it at his side. I could see him moving it and making the metal pieces ripple.

"I'm sorry Bucky. You don't have to talk about it." I said picking up our plates.

I started walking to the sink but Bucky grabbed my arm.

"Evy wait. I'm sorry. It's just…"

Before Bucky could finish his sentence the window in the living room shattered. Bucky could see the living room from where he was standing and I saw the look of panic on his face. Hydra was here. I ran to the wall and hit the button that would immediately transmit to SHIELD. I knew they would immediately be on their way. I quickly opened the drawers grabbing the guns I had there and a few knives. I threw Bucky a gun and I saw the transition on his face. His warrior was back.

Even though we were both barefoot we ran into the living room. There was already Hydra agents climbing through the window. We were not prepared for this and we certainly weren't dressed for a fight. I began shooting immediately and took down the first few agents in the window. I heard a crash from behind me and knew they must have taken down the front door. Bucky nodded at me and I turned to run that way. There were even more agents coming in this way. I shot as many of them as I could. When I ran out of bullets I threw the knives that I had. There were simply too many of them. As they got closer I moved to hand to hand combat. I was able to hold my own against a few at a time but I began to panic as I felt them overwhelming me. I could hear Bucky fighting in the other room. There was no way he could come and help me.

Then I heard the glorious sound of shooting outside. I could hear the sound of Steve's shield connecting with skulls and sighed. He had gotten the message and SHIELD was here. Some agents turned and went back towards the front and some continued to come towards me. I backed up into the kitchen and grabbed two kitchen knives. They were all that I could find to fight with. I sliced at the first men to me and quickly put them on the floor. The next guy to come up was massive. I wasn't sure if I would be able to take him down with just the knife I had left. He swung at me and I ducked. I tried to maneuver around him and he grabbed ahold of my hair. I tried to get lose but his grip was strong. I was about to try and swing at him again when he grabbed my head and smacked it against the counter.

I felt myself going down. I fell hard on the floor and dropped the knife I had. I saw his sinister smile then saw him drop. I saw Bucky appear above me as the blackness closed in around me. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear him. The blackness was becoming too much. My eyes closed and I could feel arms around me. My consciousness was quickly fading but I could feel Bucky carrying me. I heard two voices talking. It was Bucky and Steve. If I could smile it that moment then I would have. I had done it. I had brought them back together. My mission was accomplished. I was proud of myself so I let the blackness take me. My mission was over.

 **Hey super awesome and amazing readers! Please let me know what you think of this story! I'm dying to know! I would appreciate any comments or feedback! Thanks!**


	12. Chapter 12

I woke up to a lot of bright light. I could feel someone's hand in mine. I could feel that the hand was very large so I assumed it was masculine. My head felt like it was going to split open and the light was not helping. I blinked a few times and looked to see who was holding my hand. I turned and saw Steve there. He smiled when I looked at him.

"Oh thank God. Evy, I'm so glad you are awake." He said.

I tried my best to smile at him but my head really was killing me. I squinted to keep the light to a minimum.

"What happened?" I asked.

"That big guy knocked you out. Bucky carried you out of the house and we brought you back to SHIELD."

I looked around quickly which only served to aggravate my headache more.

"Where is Bucky?" I asked frantically.

"They have him in quarantine, just for now though. I didn't want them to but Fury insisted it was for everyone's protection." Steve said looking sad.

"How is he?" I asked.

"He isn't great. He looked agitated and I'm worried he is going to freak out. That room they have him in is more of a cell than a bunk. I'm afraid it might set him off. He won't sit down. He just keeps pacing back and forth."

I sat up quickly and instantly regretted it.

"I have to go see him and then go talk to Fury. They can't keep him in there. I will take personal responsibility for him."

Steve put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me back down.

"Evy you should wait for a doctor. I don't want you to hurt yourself." He said.

"Fine then can you go get someone right now? I really want to get out of this room. These lights are killing me." I said.

"Sure. I will be right back." He said kissing my forehead before he left.

I kept my eyes shut until I heard the door open. It was a doctor that I recognized from around SHIELD before. He smiled at me.

"Hello Agent Collins. Agent Rogers told me to tell you he had some business to attend to."

"Oh alright. Thanks Doctor Worthington." I replied.

He came over and shined his light in my eyes and checked a few other things.

"How are you feeling right now?" he asked.

"Well my head is killing me but other than that I feel alright. It's mainly just my head." I replied.

He was flipping through his notes and writing things down.  
"Okay that's good then. Tell me Agent Collins, how long have you been pregnant?" he asked.

I sputtered. "What? Pregnant? I'm not pregnant." I said.

He flipped through his notes again.

"We took a blood sample and it says right here that you are pregnant. I can run a quick scan to be sure but the blood work usually doesn't lie."

I was at a loss for words. How could I be pregnant? This couldn't be happening. Well maybe it was just a mistake.

"Uh yes please do a scan. I want to be sure." I said.

"Alright I just need you to lie back."

I lay back on the bed and pulled my shirt up to just under my breasts. I pulled my pants down low enough to expose the spot between my hipbones. The spot where my scar was. Normally you wouldn't be able to do an external scan for a few more weeks but SHIELD had advanced technology. Dr. Worthington squirted some gel on my bare stomach and placed the wand down right between my hipbones. I know he saw the scar but respectfully did not mention it. Suddenly a hologram appeared right in front of me and there is was clear as day. The little white blip that was a human life.

"Ah there we go. The blood test was correct. It seems you are about 4 weeks along."

He moved the wand and the image was gone. He handed me a cloth to wipe the gel off and I absentmindedly wiped it off. It wasn't a mistake. I really was pregnant. How could I have been so stupid as to let this happen again? I hardly knew Bucky. He was struggling to figure out who he was and I had gone and fucked it up even more. How was I going to tell him about the baby? Should I tell him about the baby? All these thoughts and questions were just making my head hurt even more. I realized the doctor was talking and I hadn't even been paying attention.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked.

"I said I take it this wasn't a planned pregnancy?" he asked.

"No, not at all. I would appreciate it if this stayed between you and me for the moment. Can you keep it off SHIELD records?" I asked.

"I can for a while yes. I won't tell anyone. You know you have options right?"

"Yes, I know. I just need time to think about it. I'm assuming you can't give me anything for my head then?" I asked.

"There is one thing and it won't be harmful to the baby. I can go bring you a bottle while you get cleaned up if you want. You are free to go to your own room. Just take it easy alright."

I nodded and he walked out the door. I finished cleaning off my stomach and pulled my shirt back down. I took my time getting up out of the bed. My head was spinning a little bit but I just wanted to get to my bed. The door opened and the doctor came back in.

"Here are those pills. The directions are on the bottle. I also printed out some pictures for you if you would like them."

He handed me the bottle and the pictures. I quickly shoved them in my pocket and thanked him. I slowly walked out of the room and turned to corner to find Steve.

"Oh hey Evy. They letting you go?" he asked.

"Yeah I just want to get some sleep in my own bed." I replied.

"Here let me help you. I don't want you to fall." He said.

"No I'm alright. You can just walk next to me in case I do start to fall."

"Fair enough."

Steve walked me down the halls to my old room. He stayed right by my side in case I should falter. I managed to make it to my room in one piece. I opened the door and was greeted with a pleasant looking room. I had not left it this way.

"Did you do this?" I asked looking at the fluffy blanket on the bed.

"Yeah I ran and grabbed some of your stuff out of storage so your room would be your room again." He said.

I hugged Steve with everything I had in me. He was truly amazing. I was deeply touched by this gesture. I opened the drawers and they had all my clothes in them. I grabbed out a pair of comfy pajamas.

"I will leave you to get some rest. I'm so glad to have you back Evy." He said kissing my forehead.

I loved when he did that because it really did make me feel like his little sister.

"I'm glad to be back Steve. Thank you again for this. I will come find you when I wake up."

We hugged again and then he left. I changed into my comfy pajamas and got into bed. It was so warm and cozy. I took the pills and I could immediately feel my head begin to soften. I lay there in the dark thinking about everything. I was really going to have a baby again. My heart clenched at the thought of that. I had lost everything when I lost Mia and what if that was going to happen again? I was thinking a million thoughts all at once. What if I didn't even want this baby? I knew I needed to talk to Bucky but right now I needed to sleep. I could feel my mind getting foggy from the pills and I closed my eyes. I would deal with my problems when I woke up.

 **Soooo….Did anyone see that coming? I would love to hear from you! Please tell me what you think!**


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up and at first didn't know where I was. I looked around and saw my room at SHIELD. All the memories came rushing back to me at once. My head felt better from the medicine but felt worse from the knowledge I now possessed. I was hoping that it had all been a dream and I would wake up in that cottage again with just Bucky and I. It was not a dream though. I reached over and pulled the pictures out of my pocket. I looked at them in the dim light of my room. The little white dot was undeniable. I was pregnant with Bucky's child. What the hell was I going to do about that? My stomach growled and I looked at the clock. It was almost lunchtime so no wonder I was hungry. I knew I needed to get up. I couldn't just lie there all day and ignore my problems. I decided to get up and take a shower. I always did my best thinking in the shower anyways. I grabbed my favorite fluffy towel and took it into my bathroom with me. It felt so normal and right to be showering at SHIELD again. I spent so much time here after Steve found me. After a long day of training I would always come take a shower to relax.

I let the warm water calm my body down. I had some serious soul searching to do. Mia was the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me. I never wanted to go through a loss like that ever again. Losing Mia had almost killed me. I felt like part of me died with her. When I joined SHIELD I never saw a future for myself. I never thought I would have any more children. The thought of carrying another life inside of me again terrified me to my core. Could I really do this again? I thought about the innocent child I carried. It was a part of me and it was a part of Bucky. A lot of things about Bucky and I confused me. I couldn't figure out what we were but I did feel something. I realized that I never truly loved Jason. I did not know what love was and maybe I wasn't capable of love. I didn't love Bucky but I felt something towards him. I wanted to be near him and every time he looked at me I felt my heart beat a little faster. I had no idea what tomorrow would bring but I knew that today, right after lunch, I needed to go see Bucky.

I got out of the shower and quickly dried off. I was starving so it was making me move faster. It was so weird that I hadn't even noticed this pregnancy at all. With Mia I had terrible morning sickness and a strong craving for peanut butter all the time. I didn't feel any different yet with this pregnancy. I quickly braided my hair and put on my SHIELD uniform. It fit perfectly and made me feel like I was at home. I couldn't even begin to describe how good it felt to be back. I put on a little bit off makeup just to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. When I stepped out into the hallway I couldn't help but smile. The hustle and bustle of SHIELD life made me so happy. It was truly like coming home again. I followed my feet to the cafeteria and could already smell there was something great in there for lunch. I rounded the corner and Nat was standing there with Clint. We saw each other at the same time and ran at each other.

"Oh my God Evy!" she yelled grabbing me in a huge hug.

I hugged her back with everything I had in me.

"It's so good to see you Nat."

We were still hugging and Clint grabbed us both hugging us tight.

"I needed to get in on this hug." He said.

"It's great to see you too Clint." I said.

"And what about me?" Steve asked, stepping out into the hallway.

I let go of Nat and Clint to go hug Steve. He wrapped his arms around me like I was nothing at all. He hugged me tight against him. I had missed these hugs so much. He hugged you like you truly mattered and I knew that I did. Our hug lasted long enough for Clint to awkwardly clear his throat. We stopped hugging and just laughed at him. Clint slapped Steve on the back.

"Come on Cap let's go get some food." He said pulling Steve into the cafeteria.

I walked with Nat and I leaned over to her.

"Thank you for the rose you left on the balcony." I said.

She smiled. "You're welcome. I would never miss an anniversary even though you were sent to kill me."

I lightly elbowed her as we got in line. I could not be happier to be back here. I missed my friends and my home so much. The cafeteria always had an amazing salad bar and everything on it today looked great. I loaded up with my salad then my eye caught macaroni and cheese. That looked even better than the salad. Oh whatever I will just eat both. I'm eating for two now anyways. Woah, that was weird to actually think. Am I starting to embrace this pregnancy already? I took all my food and water to a table where everyone else already was. Lunch was so easy and effortless. We just talked and ate. I felt like I hadn't missed a day with them even though I had been gone for years. We all finished eating and everyone had something to do. I decided it was time to suck it up and go see Bucky. I went and got some macaroni and cheese for him since I knew he would like it. Nat and Clint left and it was just Steve and I.

"Are you going to see Bucky?" he asked.

"Yeah I wanted to see how he is doing." I replied.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No that's alright. Have you talked to Fury yet about letting him out of there?" I asked.

"Not yet. I can go do that now though if you want."

"Could you? That would be great. I will come find you later." I said.

I hugged Steve one more time and he kissed the top of my head softly. My hands were shaking as I walked down to where they kept the prisoners. It didn't feel right to me that Bucky was in these cells. I turned the corner and saw he was in the same kind of cell that we had held Loki in. How was Bucky as bad as Loki? It made me angry to see him in there. Steve was right about him. He looked angry and he was pacing the room. Had he been doing this the whole time? I nodded to the other guard in the room and he opened the cell for me. I stepped inside and the door closed again behind me. It hurt to see Bucky like this.

"Bucky?" I said.

He twitched a little bit but didn't look over at me.

"Bucky it's me Evy." I said getting closer to him.

He looked up and saw me. For a moment his face softened but then it grew hard again.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I wanted to come see you. Here I brought you some mac and cheese if you want it." I said setting it on the table.

He had stopped pacing but he was watching me. I didn't like the look in his eyes. It wasn't the Bucky that I had seen the past few weeks.

"I don't like that they put you in here. You don't deserve to be in here. Steve is talking to Fury right now about letting you out."

He was silent as he continued to pin me with his stare.

"So I uh heard that you carried me out of the cottage. I wanted to say thank you for that." I said.

"Yes that was one of my many mistakes." He said.

His harsh words and harsh tone took me back a step. Wait what?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He stalked towards me and I had no choice but to back up as far as I could. I saw the guard in the corner of the room moved but I waved him down. I could handle this. Bucky had me cornered against the wall. He looked at me with such contempt.

"I should have let him kill you. Then I wouldn't be stuck here in this place. I should have known better than to trust SHIELD."

I reached out to touch him and he jerked away from me.

"Bucky stop. I didn't know this was going to happen. I'm trying to help you. Why are you being so hostile?"

He turned back towards me with a fury once again blazing in his eyes.

"Maybe because I am a fucking trained killer Evelyn. You should know something about that since that is what you do too."

Now he was just trying to be mean. I didn't need to deal with this shit. There was no way I was going to tell him I'm pregnant right now. This was not Bucky this was The Winter Soldier talking. I held up my hands.

"Alright Bucky you win. I'm leaving." I said heading for the door.

Bucky watched me all the way to the door. His gaze was incredibly intimidating. I longed to see those eyes look at me the way they had before. Back when we lay in bed together talking about our heartaches. The door opened and I stepped out. I turned and looked at him before the door closed. He glared at me.

"I can't believe I thought I cared for you." He said just loud enough for me and me only to hear.

The doors closed and he turned away from me. I felt like my stomach was made out of lead. He had cared for me? Or at least thought that he did? I couldn't be in this room with him anymore. It hurt too much to see Bucky when he wasn't Bucky. I headed back to my room and kept my head down. I could feel I was ready to burst into tears at any moment. I was almost to my door when I ran into something solid. I felt arms around me and I looked up.

"Evy, what's wrong?" Steve asked.

He reached up and wiped away a tear I hadn't realized I had shed. The look in his eyes made me want to tell him everything and I knew that I could. This was my Steve and I could trust him. I pulled him into my room and we sat down on my bed. He held my shaking hands in his own.

"Evy you are really starting to scare me. What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm pregnant." I said quietly.

"You're pregnant? Evy how is that possible? Who is the father?" he asked.

I just looked at him and let out a quiet sob. He grabbed me and pulled me against him in a giant hug.

"It's Bucky isn't it?" he asked.

I nodded my head and I could feel his arms strong around me. He pulled me into his lap and gently rocked back and forth while I cried. I felt like such a child but in that moment I didn't care. I was at my wits end and Steve was here for me. He carefully stroked my hair and let me cry in his arms. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a man like Steve?

 **OMG you guys please tell me what you are thinking! A super huge thank you to those who have commented and shared their thoughts but I would love it even more if everyone could do that! I hope you all are enjoying and please show me some love!**


	14. Chapter 14

Steve allowed me to cry in his arms for as long as I needed to. When I finally thought I was done, well at least done for the moment, Steve dried my tears. He held my face in his hands and smiled at me.

"Don't worry Evy; it's all going to be okay. I will be here for you no matter what. I will always be here for you. I love you Evy." He said.

I did my best to smile at Steve. I truly believed his words. I knew he would be there for me no matter what. I put my hand over my stomach.

"I just can't believe I'm having a baby." I said.

Steve let go of my face and put his hand over mine.

"I know it is scary for you but this could be a new beginning for you. You didn't get to be a mother to Mia but now you will. This baby could change everything for you." He said.

"I know. It is just scary. I tried to go talk to Bucky but he isn't himself right now."

"He will come around I think. I almost forgot to tell you that I talked to Fury. He said he would release Bucky but that it is up to you to keep track of him. I can go talk to him again though. Maybe I can take over for you. I don't want it to stress you out." He said quickly.

"No no Steve it's okay. I can do it. He usually responds to me. I have room here in my room so I can move another bed in here. It would be better for me to try and get to him again."

Steve gave me such an older brother look that I couldn't help but laugh.

"We are kinda already past that Steve." I said smiling.

"I know. Are you feeling better at least a little bit?"

"Yes. Thank you for letting me cry it out." I said hugging him.

"Anytime Evy." He replied.

We stood up and I stretched a little. Crying had made me feel tight. Steve put his hand on my shoulder.

"I will go get you another bed if you want to go get Bucky." He said.

"Thank you. I would appreciate not having to drag it here myself."

"I wouldn't let you. You have to think about that baby now." He said.

I subconsciously put my hand over my womb. It's weird to know there is a life inside there again. I gave Steve another hug and we went our separate ways. I wasn't someone who was nervous often but as I walked down those halls towards Bucky I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. I saw a few agents that I knew who welcomed me back. It helped calm me down because I did feel like I was home. I had the home field advantage. I finally rounded the corner and saw Bucky behind the glass. He still looked agitated but not hostile like he was before. That made me feel a little bit better. I opened the door and stood in the doorway. Bucky didn't turn around to look at me.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

He turned and looked at me. His stare was as cold as it was the day I met him. I felt the hair on the back of my arms stand on end with the icy gaze I was given.

"Go where?" he asked harshly.

"Out of this cell. Steve talked to Fury and he is letting you out."

"He is letting me go?" he asked.

"Well no. You aren't leaving SHIELD. You are just moving to a room instead of this cell."

Bucky walked towards me then brushed past me.

"From one cell to another." He grumbled.

I hurried up to his side. He didn't look at me or anyone else as we walked down the halls. I could see all the other agents staring at him. Even though he wasn't looking at them I knew he could see it too. He was wearing clothes that didn't quite fit him and looked like he needed a shower. I quickly led him to our room. I hoped that Steve had already come and gone because I wasn't sure how Bucky would react to seeing Steve right now. I walked to the door and opened it. I looked in to make sure that it was clear. I saw the room was empty but there was another bed there that was already made. Steve had worked fast. Bless that man, he never let me down. I stepped aside and let Bucky in. He looked around and saw the two beds.

"Whose room is this?" he asked.

"It's mine. I brought in another bed. I'm supposed to stay by you per orders of Fury."

I picked up the stack of clothes that Steve left on the bed and handed them to Bucky. I went to the closet and pulled out a towel.

"You can go clean up if you want."

He grabbed the towel from me and went into the bathroom. As soon as he closed the door I sat down on my bed. I put my head in my hands and tried to calm myself down. I didn't realize how much it would hurt to feel Bucky's coldness. I hadn't realized until just this moment how deeply I felt for him. I had taken our time together for granted. Now the father of my baby hated me. I hoped that I could get Bucky back but I honestly didn't know. I pulled the ultrasound picture out of my pocket and looked around. Where could I hide this that Bucky wouldn't find it? I decided under my mattress might be the safest place. I lifted the mattress and placed the picture underneath. Hopefully he wouldn't be looking under there. I grabbed a book off my book shelf and sat back on my bed to read it.

A little while later Bucky came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam. His hair was wet and he was just pulling on his t-shirt. It clung to his still wet body. I looked away quickly so he wouldn't catch my eyes on him. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"So am I just supposed to sit around here?" he asked.

I looked over at him and tried my best to give him a blank look.

"No, you aren't a prisoner. You can go anywhere you want but I have to go with you." I said.

"So now you are my babysitter?"

"No Bucky I am not your babysitter. I personally vouched for you so now I'm responsible for you. If you are going to continue to be an ass then you are going to be treated like this. Now you can sit here and stare at the wall or you can read a book until dinner. Your fucking choice." I said.

I immediately looked back at my book because I did not want to see his reaction to that. He slowly stood up and walked over to the bookshelf. He picked one up and took it back to his bed. The nice thing about my love for reading is that I am always able to completely immerse myself in my books. I forgot that Bucky was there, I forgot that I was pregnant and the time just passed me by. Suddenly Bucky cleared his throat and it brought me out of my book. I looked up from my book and over to him.

"What?" I asked.

"Are we going to eat dinner or not?"

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:00pm. I hadn't even noticed I was hungry until Bucky mentioned it. I put my bookmark in my book and set it on my nightstand. I stood up and put my boots back on.

"Okay let's go." I said.

Bucky walked silently beside me to the dining hall. I saw Nat and Clint walking towards the room from the other direction. I saw them both eye Bucky walking beside me. I know he noticed but chose not to say anything. Nat came along my other side and smiled at me.

"Hey Evy how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Just a minor headache. Nothing I can't handle." I replied.

I gave Clint a fist bump and they walked ahead of us. Bucky leaned over to me.

"They were our mission. What would you have done if I didn't leave?" he asked.

I looked him right in the eyes.

"I would have done whatever it took to keep you from hurting them."

I would never have killed Bucky but he didn't know that. I wanted to make it plain where my loyalties lay. Or at least where I could say that they lay. Bucky stayed beside me as we entered the room. We may not be getting along at the moment but I was the only one he knew. I was the only one who didn't look at him like a circus freak. The moment we entered the room an awkward silence came across the room. For a bunch of trained soldiers they weren't very tactful. I did my best to ignore them and led Bucky over to the food. I always sat with Steve, Nat and Clint and I wasn't about to stop that now. I could see Steve was watching our every move just making sure that I was alright. I led Bucky to the table and I sat down right next to Steve. He squeezed my hand as a sign of reassurance and it did not go unnoticed by Bucky. Nat and Clint were sitting across from us and they did their best to try and keep things normal. I could feel the resentment pouring off of Bucky but did my best to ignore it. This was life now and he was just going to have to deal with it.


	15. Chapter 15

It had been 2 incredibly long weeks here at SHIELD. Every day I thought about telling Bucky about the baby and every day I was greeted with the cold distance between us. I was starting to fear that the Bucky Barnes I was with in Scotland was never coming back. Steve checked in on me more than I thought was necessary but it was a sweet gesture. I knew he was concerned for me as well as for the baby. My belly had started to swell a little but not enough to be noticeable when I was wearing clothes. I made sure to wear loose clothes though just to be safe. I did not want to reveal this pregnancy before I had to. It was just a small bump but I noticed it right away. Since it was my second pregnancy I was showing a little more than would be normal for a first pregnancy.

I was going a little stir crazy being with Bucky every moment of every day. We hardly ever spoke to each other unless it was necessary. He chose to remain in the room most of the time and that meant I had to stay there. Every time we left for meals people continued to stare at us and I knew it drove him crazy. I could tell Steve desperately wanted to talk to Bucky but Bucky wouldn't talk to anyone. Every time we sat in that room it was just complete silence. I relished the times when I could shower because it meant time to myself. All of this stress had started to get to me. I wasn't sleeping well at night, in fact hardly at all.

 _I could see her right there. She was just out of reach. She was so beautiful. The little girl with the long black hair and green eyes stared at me. I was reached out for her and she was reaching back. Our fingertips were so close to touching but not close enough. I reached harder and I saw her smiling. Her smile turned to a frown as our distance grew apart. I could see her mouth form the word mama but I couldn't hear it. I cried out for her._

" _Mia! Mia!" I yelled._

 _The ground began to shake as she was pulled farther away from my grasp. She was fading into darkness and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach my baby girl. I continued to call out to her._

" _Mia! Mia, come back. Mama is here! Mia! Mia!"_

 _I could hear the faint cry of someone calling my name. I could hear it in the wind and in the distance. The ground continued to shake and then she was gone._

My eyes snapped open and the shaking did not stop. I looked up and saw Bucky above me with his hands on my shoulders.

"Evy? Are you awake?" he asked.

I sat up and looked around. It had been a dream, a cruel dream. I rubbed my face.

"Yes, I'm awake." I said.

"You were calling out for Mia. Were you dreaming of her?" he asked.

"Yes…"I said quietly.

I reached to touch my scar as I often did when I thought of her. When my fingers touched between my hipbones I felt bare flesh. I looked down and realized that in my struggle in sleep I had pulled my shirt up. My baby bump that would be visible to the discerning eye was exposed. I panicked and quickly went to pull my shirt back down but Bucky was quicker. He grabbed my hand with his metal hand. His flesh hand reached down and touched the curved flesh. He laid his palm flat on the slight swell then looked up at me.

"Evy, are you pregnant?" he asked.

I was frozen where I was. His hand was on the evidence so there was no denying it but I could not find the words to confirm it. His fingers gently felt around and I knew he could feel the slightly hardened flesh. The look in his eyes told me that he knew I was pregnant but he wanted to hear me say it.

"Evelyn…" he said roughly.

"Yes, okay, yes Bucky I'm pregnant." I said.

When the words came out of my mouth I wanted to be sick. The last time I told the father of my baby that I was pregnant he rejected me. Jason and I had at least been in a relationship when I told him. Bucky and I were hardly on speaking terms. He took his hand off of my bump and pulled my shirt back down. He stood up and glared down at me.

"How long Evelyn?" he asked.

"How long what?" I asked.

"Damn it, how long have you known?" he raised his voice a little.

"2 weeks. I found out when we got to SHIELD."

"And were you ever going to tell me? Don't you think I have the right to know about my own child?"

I stood up right next to him. He was still taller than me but no longer towered over me like a child.

"Yes, I was going to tell Bucky Barnes. He is the father of my child. I don't know who you are."

I lifted up my mattress and pulled out the sonogram. I handed it to him.

"If Bucky happens to show up please give him this picture of his child."

I headed for the door and opened it.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to be with someone who actually enjoys speaking to me, someone who actually loves me." I said then slammed the door.

I was barefoot and in a tank top and shorts but I didn't care. I walked down the cold hallways of SHIELD in the dark. I stood in front of Steve's door and hesitated. I really did not want to disturb him but I desperately needed him. I just needed to feel loved. I knew it was selfish but in that moment I just couldn't care. I knocked on the door and I could hear movement coming from the other side. A sleepy looking and shirtless Steve answered the door. His hair was all messed up and he yawned as he opened the door. His eyes widened when he saw it was me.

Evy? What's wrong?" he asked looking around panicked.

"I just need you. Can I come stay with you tonight?" I asked.

He stepped out of the doorway and let me inside.

"Of course. You know you are always welcome." He said.

Steve got into bed and held open the covers. I got under the covers with him and he pulled me against him. There were so many times we had done this before. I used to have dreams about Mia all the time and the only thing that calmed them was Steve's warm embrace. I felt his warm flesh against my own and instantly felt relaxed. His arms were tight around me and I felt secure. His chin rested on the top of my head and I could hear his heart beating strong in my ear. It wasn't a sexual thing with Steve. It was love, pure and simple. I loved him more than I loved anyone else and I knew he felt the same. We just fit together like a puzzle. I would die for this man and he would die for me. I could feel him gently stroking my hair like he had many times before.

"I love you Evy. I love you so much. Everything is going to be alright. I promise." He whispered.

"Thank you Steve. I love you too."

And with that I settled perfectly against him and fell sound asleep.

…

I faintly heard the sound of knocking and then the warmth left me. I heard the door open and two male voices talking. I felt the bed dip and I opened my eyes. Steve moved my hair out of my face and smiled at me.

"Hey Evy, you awake?" he asked.

"I am now." I said stretching.

"Bucky is here and he wants to talk to you." He said.

My eyes opened all the way and I sat up.

"What?"

"Bucky is here. He wants to talk to you. Do you want me to let him in?"

Did I?


	16. Chapter 16

**Bucky's POV**

Thoughts were bouncing around in my head so quickly that I couldn't even follow them. Conflicting thought and emotions were a normal thing for me but this was different. Back in Scotland I had known so clearly what I wanted. All I wanted was to be Bucky again. I wanted to be this person for Evy. Ever since we got to SHIELD things had gotten all messed up. I was blaming Evy for something I knew wasn't her fault. She didn't want them to lock me up and she fought to make them let me go. She had given up her freedom to grant me mine. The Winter Soldier part of me wanted to use this opportunity to escape. This was the first time I had been left alone so I could run if I wanted to and I really did want to. Then the other part of me that was Bucky was there. I cared about Evy a lot more than I cared to admit. I sat down on my bed and looked at the picture in my hand. Right there was a picture of my child. It was going to be a father. It was something that I had never considered in my time as The Winter Soldier. I remembered from deep down inside of me that the person I used to be had always dreamt of being a father. Bucky Barnes had wanted the whole wife, kids, and picket fence dream. My head was beginning to hurt from all the memories. I lay down and closed my eyes. I needed time to figure this out. For a reason that I did not fully understand I held the picture against my chest as I fell asleep.

…

My eyes snapped open with totally clarity. My dreams had been filled with Evy. I looked down at the sonogram picture that I held tightly in my hand. I went through ever moment of my time with Evy and I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Our baby had been conceived of an act of lust. It had not been Bucky and Evy but it had been The Winter Soldier and The Night Siren. There was nothing special about the violent and physical fucking that had happened that day. After that I had been cruel to Evy but she never gave up on me. Those weeks spent in Scotland had been the closest thing I had felt to normal in a long time. I remembered with perfect clarity the way her body felt against mine. It was what happened after that made me fall in love with her. I stopped myself. Did I love her? Was I capable of love? I thought about the way that Evy looked at me that day. She had looked at me like she believed in me. I remember the way it felt, the way it still feels. I can see the pain in her eyes every time I am mean or harsh to her now.

I am in love with her. Evy had opened up to me and told me the darkest secret she possessed. She trusted me enough to tell me her pain and I had broken that trust. I felt more guilt than I had ever felt in my life. She must be feeling so betrayed by me right now. I know how scared she must be feeling yet I had lashed out. She told me she was pregnant and I let her walk out that door. She had been through this before with Jason and I did not want to put her through it again. I would not leave her and I would not deny my child. I will step up because I want to. I want to love and be loved. I want this baby and I want Evy. I looked at the tiny dot that represented the life growing inside of Evy. I remembered what the little bump felt like under my fingers and I longed to feel that again. I wanted to pull Evy into my arms and never let her go. I will not be the one to let her down.

I got up and set the picture on the nightstand. I pulled on a pair of boots and left the bedroom. I already knew where Evy would be. There was only one place that she could be. She said she was going to be with someone who loved her. I knew that she had to be talking about Steve. I've seen the way he always watches her to make sure that she is okay. I have no doubt that he already knows she is pregnant. I could see the change in Evy when she was around Steve. She was more relaxed like she felt secure when he was there. They loved each other in a way that I didn't think I would ever understand. I stopped in front of Steve's door and hesitated before I knocked. I may not know much about love but what I had to give I was going to offer Evy. I wanted to give her everything so I was going to offer her everything I have. Steve opened the door with a dazed look that suggested he had been sleeping. He was now wearing a shirt and I could see just how muscular he truly was. I looked over his shoulder and could see Evy curled up in his bed. I felt a pang of jealousy as I saw the dip in the bed from where he had been sleeping. He had been holding Evy in her sleep like I longed to do again. I felt guilt all over again for not being the one to hold her and be there for her. Steve looked a little surprised to see me.

"Bucky? What are you doing here?" he asked quietly.

"I want to talk to Evy." I replied.

Steve looked at Evy and then back at me. I could tell he was debating with himself about what to do. Things with Steve had been awkward because he still remembered me even though I didn't remember him.

"I'm not going to hurt her Steve. I need to apologize to her." I said.

He sighed. "Alright. Let me go ask her if she wants to talk to you though."

I watched Steve go wake Evy up. I saw the way he gently moved her hair out of her face and spoke to her softly. I loved the way she looked when she first woke up. Her long black hair was wild from sleep and she blinked a lot to adjust to being awake. I always thought it was adorable that it took her a minute to be aware in the morning. I recognized the moment that he told her I was here because I could see it in her eyes. She looked over to me standing in the doorway and I felt some of the ice around my heart shatter into a million pieces.


	17. Chapter 17

I looked over Steve's shoulder and saw Bucky standing in the doorway. I hated that the sight of him made my heart flutter. I wanted to hate him and I wanted to send him away but I also knew that I couldn't. He had hurt me but he also did something that Jason had not; Bucky came to find me. He wanted to talk about things. I couldn't deny myself the chance to hear what he had to say. Steve was still right there by me waiting for my answer. I finally looked at him and nodded.

"It's okay. I will talk to him." I said.

"Alright, I will be right outside if you need me."

Steve kissed my forehead then grabbed a shirt. He let Bucky come in and closed the door behind him. I watched Bucky as he came over to me.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked.

I pulled my legs under me to sit indian style and patted the bed next to me. He sat down but didn't say anything.

"I thought you wanted to talk to me." I said.

"I do. I just can't find the right words to say."

I put my hand on his arm and he looked at me.

"Just say what you feel." I said.

Bucky sighed then placed his hand over mine.

"I feel like an idiot. I have felt like one ever since we left Scotland. I have been cold and cruel to you ever since we got here and I cannot tell you how sorry I am for that. You have been there for me since the moment you met me. Then when you needed me I let you down. I am so sorry Evy. I am sorry that I hurt you and I never want to do that to you again. I want you to be able to count on me. I want to be there for you and I want to be there for the baby. I want to be the man that you deserve."

With every word that he spoke I could feel the pain slipping away. I looked at him as he spoke and I could see the truth in him. He meant ever word that he said. I could see that the silence in the room was killing him. This is what I had wanted. I wanted Bucky to share his feeling and to let me in. I never imagined he would speak those words to me. Even back in Scotland before I knew I was pregnant I never imagined he would tell me he wanted to be there for me. Now it was my turn to not be able to find the words to say. I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt a tear splash on my leg. I could see how much my silent crying was freaking Bucky out. My emotions were overwhelming me and my body acted for me. I threw myself into Bucky's arms and they wrapped protectively around me. It felt so good to feel his arms around me again that I could help but cry. Bucky's hand gently stroked my hair and I could hear his heartbeat thumping against my ear. His heart was racing just as fast as mine was. Then I heard those three little words that I hadn't realized I needed to hear until just now.

"I love you." Bucky said softly.

Those words rang in my ears as I realized what he had just said. I pulled back and looked at him. In the dim light of the room I could see his eyes were glistening with tears that he did not shed. I put my hands on his face and stroked his cheekbones. I had known it for a while now but just couldn't bear the pain of saying it. I had experienced the pain of unrequited love before and I never wanted to feel that again. I had stayed silent about my feelings for Bucky out of self-preservation but now I didn't have to anymore. Bucky had said it first. I looked right back into his eyes and saw he was looking right back into mine; into my heart and into my soul.

"I love you too Bucky." I replied.

Our lips met in a kiss that I would not forget for as long as I live. Everything Bucky and I had been through had brought us to this moment. We had each other now and I was never letting go. Bucky ran his fingers through my hair.

"Evy, you are so beautiful." He said.

I didn't know what to say so I just smiled. Bucky reached down and gently put his hand on my belly. He smiled at me.

"I can't believe we are having a baby." He said.

I thought about the tiny life growing inside of me. I was terrified and excited all at the same time.

"Are you ready to be a father?" I asked.

"I will be." He replied.

There was a light knock on the door and then Steve opened it.

"I just wanted to make sure everything is alright." He said.

I smiled at Steve and then at Bucky.

"Yes, everything is perfect."

Steve didn't seem convinced but he didn't protest either. He came into the room.

"Good, I'm glad everything worked out. I'm just going to get dressed so that I can go eat breakfast."

Bucky and I stood up.

"We can go so you can have your privacy. We may join you for breakfast." I said.

I hugged Steve and wrapped my arms tightly around his torso.

"Thank you Steve. I don't know what I would do without you." I said.

He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"You don't have to thank me Evy. I would do anything for you. I will always be here. I just hope you don't have to come crying to my bed anymore." He replied.

I turned to leave but Bucky came over to Steve. He held out his hand and Steve shook it.

"Thank you for always being there for Evy, especially last night when I could not. I promise that I am going to try to be good enough for her. I'm going to try to find that person again." Bucky said.

Steve looked shocked but happy. He could see a little glimpse of his Bucky again. He let go and Bucky put his arm around me. I smiled at Steve one more time before we left. The halls of SHIELD were not empty now but I didn't care. Let them stare and know that Bucky and I are together. I'm sure Fury would have something to say about it later but I would deal with that when the time came. When we got back to our room Bucky pulled me against him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

"I've been waiting to hold you in my arms again." He said.

"You never have to wait again." I replied.

Bucky leaned down and kissed me. It was a sweet and gentle kiss. It was the kiss we had both been waiting for.

"I'm going to take a shower before breakfast. Care to join?" I asked.

"Absolutely." Bucky replied, picking me up into his arms.

I laughed as Bucky carried me bridal style into the bathroom. He set me down and turned on the water. I undressed while he was adjusting the water. When he turned around I saw his eyes flash with desire. He stripped off his clothes and I felt that same desire. I had the memory of what Bucky looked like naked but that was nothing compared to seeing it again. He took my hand and we got in the shower. The water was the perfect temperature and I could feel the heat coming from Bucky radiating behind me. I felt that desire beginning to increase. I turned to face Bucky and with one glance I saw that he felt the same way. In an instant our bodies collided. My hands were running up his wet flesh and my lips were on his. I could feel Bucky's hands on my hips and he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he backed me up against the wall. I could feel his erection hard against me and I was consumed with a desire to feel him inside of me again.

"Bucky, I need you." I said as I wrapped my fingers in his hair.

"Oh god Evy I need you too." He replied.

I could feel his erection so close to my entrance that it was driving me wild.

"Please fuck me Bucky. Please." I said breathless.

I could feel that he was holding back.

"I want to be careful because of the baby. I don't want to hurt it." He said.

"You won't. The baby is perfectly safe. I promise." I replied.

I could see Bucky was about to say something again so I kissed him to stop him. I gently bit his lower lip and dug my finger deeper into his hair. I heard him moan low in his throat and I knew it was all over now. Bucky's hands traveled down to my hips to steady them as he slid himself inside of me. I gasped at the sensation of him inside of me once again. He paused for a second while I adjusted to him. The pause felt like forever until he thrust up into me. I bit my own lip to keep from crying out too loudly. I looked into Bucky's eyes and all I saw was passion. He kept a hold on my waist so he could thrust up into me harder. Every thrust was more incredible than the last. The water from the shower was pouring down on us making our skin slide against one another. Bucky's wet hair hung in his face and I had never seen him look hotter. It was all I could do to hold on and not cum just from the sight of him like this.

Bucky took his time with his hips and he moved them with expert skill. Every thrust was precise and made me beg for more. I know he enjoyed the small sounds that came out of me with every thrust. He craved them and made it want to go in for more. I wrapped my legs tighter around him, forcing him to thrust in higher and harder. There was hardly any space between our bodies now. I kissed Bucky's lips then traveled to his neck. I gently bit his neck and I heard him growl. His thrusts accelerated and I knew I was coming close now.

"Oh god Bucky." I said in almost a whisper.

"Say my name Evy." He said.

"Bucky. Oh Bucky. Bucky!"

I got louder with every letter. His hips worked even harder and I could feel him filling up every bit of space. I wrapped my arms around him as I felt my body explode around me. I cried out his name over and over again. He called out my name as his own release came and I felt him cum inside of me. Our hips didn't stop moving in time with one another until we were fully sated. Bucky pulled out of me but kept me against the wall and in his arms. We were both breathing heavily as Bucky smiled at me.

"That was incredible." I said.

"Yeah it was." He replied.

He put his hand on the tiny bump.

"How's the baby?' he asked.

I put my hand over his.

"Oh the baby is perfect." I said.

Bucky kissed me then let me down. He grabbed the shampoo and handed it to me.

"Well I suppose we better actually take a shower now. They will be wondering where we are." He said.

I smirked. "Oh I have a feeling they will know."

 **Hey Readers! I would really love to know what you all are thinking! I don't want to beg but I will if I have to! Please please please tell me what you think. Also start casting your votes as to whether you think the baby is a boy or a girl! Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey readers! So sorry that it took so long to get a chapter up! Life is a little bit insane right now so I have had like zero time to write! I will try to update more frequently from now on though! Enjoy and please tell me what you think!**

I grabbed my SHIELD uniform out of the closet and put it on. When I went to zip it up I realized it was a little bit tight. I turned to Bucky, who was standing there just in a towel.

"Does this make it obvious?" I asked.

Bucky smirked. "Yes, it sort of does. I guess I notice it more because I already know but with a building full of trained assassins and soldiers they might notice the subtle things."

"Damn." I said as I looked down at my tiny bump.

I always loved my tight leather SHIELD uniform but now it just revealed too much. I did not want people knowing I was pregnant before I was ready to tell them. I took off the uniform and went back to my closet. I grabbed a pair of black leather pants and a plain gray v neck. The material was less constricting than the leather outfit had been.

"How about now?" I asked.

Bucky was just pulling on his shirt and he looked at me as soon as he could.

"Much better. You can't tell at all now. Just make sure the shirt stays loose on you and you will be good."

I looked in the mirror and I was satisfied with the result as well. I sat down and laced up my boots then tied my hair back in a ponytail. My stomach was growling by the time we finished getting dressed and I was starving. Bucky was wearing the uniform that most of the SHIELD guys used for training. I had to admit that I never found it that attractive before but on Bucky it looked damn good.

"Ready?" he asked as he stood by the door.

Instead of vocalizing my answer I came over and grabbed his face. I kissed him then opened the door. I stepped outside into the hallway that was not empty, and took his hand. Bucky shut the door behind us and I held his hand as we walked down the hallway. Maybe it was juvenile and so high school to show off your boyfriend like that but I really didn't care. I wanted the world to know that Bucky Barnes was mine.

When we got to the dining hall Steve, Nat and Clint were already at the table. We grabbed our food and sat down next to them. It was like a switch had flipped and suddenly Bucky and I couldn't stop smiling and touching each other. We sat down and Bucky immediately put his hand over mine and smiled at me. I heard Nat sigh.

"About damn time you guys. The sexual tension in the room was killing me." She said.

Clint looked up from his breakfast for the first time and looked at us wide eyed.

"Wait, what? You two? For real?"

I laughed. "Yes for real Clint. We just had a few things to work out but now everything is good. Well it's more than good."

I smiled up at Bucky and he smiled back. He leaned over and kissed my cheek gently.

"Oh gag, please stop." Nat said.

Nat and Clint began to half argue about how Nat could have possibly known that. Nat argued back to Clint about how he could have missed that. Steve just watched everything was an amused expression on his face. While they were talking Bucky leaned over to me.

"I was wondering if you would be able to get me a meeting with Fury."

"Yeah, I'm sure I could. What did you want to see him for?" I asked taking a bite of toast.

"I wanted to see if there was anything they had that would help me get my memory back. I'm tired of walking on eggshells and I don't want to have a relapse or something, especially now."

I smiled and took Bucky's hand. I laced my fingers with his and kissed his knuckles.

"I think that is a great idea. We can head there after breakfast and see if he will meet with us."

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. His thumb gently stroked my cheek and he smiled.

"Thanks." He said.

We looked across the table to where Nat and Clint were staring at us.

"You guys are seriously going to make me barf. I think I want to go back to the sexual tension stage." Nat said.

"I don't." Bucky replied immediately.

Bucky usually didn't talk to anyone and he especially didn't tell jokes. It was silent for a heartbeat until we all burst out laughing. Bucky tried to act like it wasn't a big deal but I could see that he was proud of himself for that.

As soon as we were done with breakfast I walked with Bucky to Fury's office. We didn't hold hands this time because this was not a meeting about our relationship. What Bucky and I did together was none of Fury's business. We waited for him outside his office and I could tell Bucky was nervous. His interactions with Fury had not gone very well before. Bucky had tried to kill Fury more than once before so it was understandable. Finally Fury opened the door and told us to come in.

"What can I do for you Mr. Barnes?" he asked.

"I was wondering if there was a way to reverse the brainwashing that Hydra did on me."

"If we can figure out what they did to brainwash you in the first place then I'm sure we can attempt to undo it. What makes you want to get those memories back now?"

Bucky didn't even try to hide the truth from Fury, not like he could anyhow. He looked right at me and then at Fury.

"For Evy." Bucky said.

Fury looked back and forth between us.

"For Evy and for the baby?" Fury asked.

I think my jaw might have actually dropped. We had not told Fury about the baby and my doctor had promised to keep it off SHIELD records.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Agent Collins, do you think there is anything you can hide from me?"

"I thought maybe things about my own body. How long have you known?"

"Since the day that you did." He said the leaned forward towards me, "Evelyn, I assure you that here at SHIELD we have the technology to check for every kind of birth defect. We can have the best doctor to care for you during your pregnancy. There won't be any surprises and I promise you will get to be a mother."

I felt my whole body go cold. All this time he had known about Mia too? I knew Fury was the assassin to rival all assassins but the fact that he knew so much about my personal life made me feel strange. Bucky grabbed my hand and squeezed it for reassurance.

"I…uh…thank you." Was all I could really say.

Fury stood up and began to walk to the door. We stood up and followed him. He opened the door.

"Mr. Barnes, I will start working on finding what we need. In the meantime you are welcome to train with the other men. Just go easy on them okay? Agent Collins, your secret is safe with me for as long as you need it to be."

I was going to say thank you but he closed the door and that was the end of the conversation. I looked at Bucky and just shrugged.

"Well, that's Director Fury." I said.


	19. Chapter 19

3 Weeks Later

Watching Bucky go through all of this was incredibly painful for me. Fury found a specialist to come in and help Bucky but so far nothing had happened. Every day Bucky came back to our room frustrated with himself and at night his nightmares were increasing. There was nothing I could do to help him except try to wake him from his nightmares. I could tell he was angry and trying not to show it. Every day I tried to get him to communicate with me and talk to me but it was hard. I felt like we needed to go away again, somewhere where it was just the two of us but I didn't think Fury would go for that. He was convinced that Bucky just needed to keep at the therapy until he made a breakthrough. I tried to stay strong for Bucky but in truth it was breaking my heart. I hated to see him upset and angry at himself.

Aside from his frustration at not being able to get back to his old self life with Bucky was good. Our relationship, well if you could call it a relationship, was strong. Even though I couldn't get him to talk about his frustrations and struggles he didn't shy away from communicating about everything else. Every morning I woke up in his arms and every night ended the same way. I was falling madly in love with this man. Although he tries not to show it that often I know Bucky is excited about the baby. I know it terrifies him just as much as it terrifies me but at the same time he is elated. There have been a few mornings that I've woken up to hear him talking to the baby and many nights that we've gone to bed and he places his hand over the little bump. Speaking of the bump, it has gotten so much bigger. Every morning I struggle to find something to cover it. I think it doubles in size every night. So far I've been able to hide it with loose fitting shirts but I'm quickly losing that luxury.

I step out of the shower and wrap my towel around me. I can still hear Bucky softly snoring from the next room. I wrap my hair in another towel and open the door. Bucky is sprawled across the bed with one foot hanging off the end. He is just wearing a pair of boxers and the view from here is pretty great. He had a pretty bad nightmare last night so I decided to let him sleep in a little longer. He has another appointment with his therapist today so I wanted him to get a bit more sleep. I drop my towel on the floor and slip on a bra and panties. I take a look at the clock and decide I should probably wake Bucky up now so he has time to eat breakfast before therapy. Bucky and I have pretty much having sex nonstop for two weeks so I'm not shy about waking him up in just my bra and panties. I take the towel off my head first and my long black hair falls wildly down around my face. I crawl onto the bed and stoke my finger down Bucky's cheek. He twitches but doesn't get up. I lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips. I feel it the minute he wakes up because he deepens the kiss. His hands come around and touch my face. He pulls back from me and looks at me.

"Have I ever told you that you have the most beautiful shade of blue eyes I have ever seen? They are like crystals of ice." He said with a smile.

I can't help but smile at the picture of The Winter Soldier telling me that my eyes are beautiful. I run my fingers in his hair.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked.

"Hmm, no I don't think you have ever mentioned it."

I kiss him again and then sit up.

"You better get in the shower if you want to have breakfast before therapy." I said.

"Woah." Bucky said.

"What? Woah what?"

Bucky reached out and put his hands on my belly.

"Woah this. Look at how big you got. It's like it happened overnight."

"What? Hey, did you just call me big? It's not that big."

I got up and looked in the mirror. I turned to the side and sure enough Bucky was right. My belly had officially popped. I hadn't even noticed earlier. Bucky came up behind me and put his arms around me. He cradled the bump in his hands as we looked in the mirror.

"I am not going to be able to hide this anymore." I said.

"Well, I guess SHIELD is in for a surprise today." Bucky said as he kissed my cheek.

I looked up at him and smirked.

"Do you think I should just go for it and put the SHIELD uniform on? There won't be any question about the baby bump after that. It will be incredibly obvious."

"Sure, go for it. I'm going to jump in the shower but I will be quick. Then we can go to breakfast together."

Bucky gave me a quick kiss before he disappeared into the bathroom. I stood there and looked at my baby bump in the mirror. It was really there and this was all getting real. There was no denying that there was a child growing inside of me and after today all of SHIELD would know it. I had been having a lot of dreams about Mia lately but I kept them to myself. It was like this pregnancy made it impossible to not think about her. I couldn't help but think about all the things that could have been. Every time I had another dream about Mia it took me awhile to recover from it. I chose not to tell Bucky because it would only worry him and he had a lot on his plate already. I put my hand on my baby bump and gently rubbed. This time was so much different from the last time. This time I was not alone. I heard Bucky turn off the shower and I quickly shook off the thoughts about Mia. I had to prepare myself for the fact that I was about to go public with my pregnancy.

I grabbed my SHIELD uniform out of the closet and slipped it on. The material was skin tight but it was made to stretch so it fit over my baby bump. I loved the feeling on being in my uniform again. I looked in the mirror and laughed. I might as well have put a neon sign on me saying that I was pregnant. This uniform left nothing to the imagination. No one would miss this announcement since all they had to do was look at me to see that I was pregnant. Bucky came out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist and wet hair. I had to look away otherwise we would be seriously late for breakfast. He got dressed and I braided my hair. Once we were both ready he gave me a once over.

"Well, no one will have to guess whether or not you are pregnant." He said.

I framed my baby bump with my hands and posed.

"Well that is the point isn't it?"

Bucky smiled and we walked to the door. He was just about to open it when I stopped him.

"What? What is it?" he asked.

"I'm a terrible friend if I don't tell Nat first, well and Clint too. Let me grab a jacket to cover me for now and I will pull them aside to tell them first."

Bucky waited while I grabbed one of his jackets out of the closet. I zipped it up and it covered the baby bump. He smiled.

"I like the way that looks on you."

I smirked. "Well maybe I can wear it for you later."

I took his hand and we walked down the hall. Luck was on our side because we ran into Nat and Clint on the way there. I grabbed them and pulled them into an empty hallway.

"What?" Nat asked.

"I have to tell you guys something. It's about to be public knowledge so I wanted to tell you first."

Nat had a look on her face like she knew exactly what I was about to say but Clint gave no indication whatsoever. I unzipped my jacket and took it off.

"I'm pregnant." I said.

Nat immediately turned to Clint and pointed at him.

"I told you! I knew it!" she said.

Clint took $20 out of his wallet and handed it to Nat. She smirked then looked at me again.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I know how much you love that uniform. There had to be a damn good reason for you to not be wearing it. I just had a feeling." She replied.

"I should have known that I couldn't fool you. We can talk about all of this later but right now I am starving. I just wanted to tell you guys first." I said.

Nat hugged me and I saw Clint pat Bucky on the arm. Bucky smiled and nodded at Clint. He still wasn't that great with other people yet but it was a lot that he would smile at Clint. I took Bucky's hand and laced my fingers with his. He had taken the jacket and put it on so that I couldn't change my mind and put it back on. Nat and Clint went in the room ahead of us and I stood there for a second. I looked down at the baby bump that was framed perfectly by my uniform. I looked up at Bucky and he smiled down at me.

"I love you Evy. Now let's go be the talk of everyone's gossip…again." He said with a smirk.

"I love you too. Alright let's do this."

Then we stepped into the crowded dining hall and every head turned to look at us.

 **Hey readers sorry again about the delay! I will try to be better! Can you please leave your comments and such? I really would love to know what everyone is thinking! Thanks!**


	20. Chapter 20

I did my best to ignore the stares of everyone around me even though they did not bother to hide their stares at all. I kept my fingers laced with Bucky's as the entirety of SHIELD discovered my pregnancy. No doubt that by the end of the day every SHIELD Agent would know that I was pregnant with The Winter Soldier's child. That was still all they saw him as and it killed me. I knew there was someone else in there. I knew Bucky Barnes was hidden deep down inside there but none of them knew that. We got our breakfasts and went to sit with Steve, Nat and Clint. Today Maria Hill was sitting with them as well. I got along really well with Maria and I genuinely liked her.

"Woah look at that. I wasn't expecting that today." Maria said as I sat down at the table.

I smiled. "Surprise. I live to keep SHIELD on their toes."

Steve just now looked up from his breakfast and smiled. "Oh I didn't know you were revealing today. I'm glad I don't have to worry about keeping that secret anymore."

Nat's head snapped over to Steve.

"Wait you knew? How long have you known?" she asked.

"Uhh like a month or so." He said before taking another bite of food.

Nat turned to look at me and I held up my hands in defeat.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner." I said.

"I will forgive you this time…but only if you name her Natasha." She said with a smirk.

"Well we don't know what it is yet but I will keep Natasha in mind." I said smiling.

"What about you big guy? How do you feel about the prospect of impending fatherhood?" Maria asked Bucky.

We all waited to see how Bucky would answer. Most people didn't talk to Bucky and he didn't talk to them. They hardly ever asked him direct questions. I was even curious to see how he would answer the question in front of everyone. Bucky snuck a quick glance at me and I smiled at him. He looked directly at Maria and I saw light come into his eyes.

"It's terrifying and exciting all at the same time. It's strange to think that in a few months there will be a tiny little life completely dependent on Evy and I. We created a little life together and as scared as I am I also can't wait to meet him or her."

Our entire table (and the surrounding tables that were probably listening) was absolutely silent. The way that Bucky spoke about our baby made me want to cry. I didn't care that we were in a crowded room. I grabbed Bucky's face and pulled it down to my own. I kissed him gently on the lips and smiled at him.

"That was beautiful." I whispered.

Clint's throat clearing brought us back to reality. Everyone but Steve was looking at Bucky like he had sprouted a second head. I looked at Steve and saw the hope in his face. He just saw his Bucky. Even in our alone time together Bucky hadn't expressed himself that much about the baby. I think he was starting to feel really uncomfortable and I didn't want him to regret saying it.

"So uh how are those new recruits coming along?" I asked.

That seemed to break everyone out of the trance and they began to talk amongst themselves about the new recruits. Bucky looked at me and smiled a smile of gratitude. I squeezed his leg reassuringly under the table. Once breakfast was over we had to go our separate ways. I walked about the way with Bucky to where he did his therapy. I wasn't ready to let go of him and go off on my own yet. By now word will have spread and I will have people looking at me everywhere I go. We stopped just outside the door and Bucky pulled me against him.

"That really was beautiful what you said today. Do you really feel that way?" I asked.

Bucky pulled back and looked at me. "Of course. I can't wait to meet our little one. I'm doing all of this for you and for the baby. I want to be able to trust myself around you. I'm trying so hard Evy."

I put my hands on his face and cradled his face in my hands. "I know Bucky. We don't need the old Bucky. We just want you to be you okay? I love you so much."

"I love you too." Bucky replied before bending down to kiss me.

We kissed and then we parted for the day. He went to work on his therapy and I decided to head to the gym. I decided that yoga was what I needed today so I quickly changed into my yoga clothes. My tight yoga pants and tank top showed off the baby bump just as much as my SHIELD uniform had. The yoga studio just happened to be empty which was perfect. It gave me a little bit of privacy to just relax. I had been doing my yoga for a while when I felt that someone was watching me. I looked up and saw Steve standing in the doorway. I stood up and looked at him.

"What's up Steve?" I asked.

"I just wanted to come and get you."

"Get me for what?"

"Thor is here and I know you have been wanting to meet him for a while now." He said.

Steve told me a lot about Thor and I had been dying to meet the Norse god. To be honest I had a slight crush on him. Every time he had stopped by I was out in the field with Hydra.

"Wait, for real? I can finally meet him?"

"Yeah, he is just hanging out upstairs right now."

I left my yoga mat right where it was and ran to Steve. I took my hair down out of its braid and made sure I didn't smell sweaty. Steve just laughed and rolled his eyes at me. I tried to keep calm as I followed Steve to where Thor was. When we finally got to the room where he was I stayed right by Steve. I looked at Thor just lounging on the couch. He looked so normal in just a simple outfit. He wasn't wearing a cape or armor and Mjolnir was just sitting on the coffee table. He was so much more beautiful in person that now I felt even more nervous.

"Thor this is my friend Evy." Steve said.

Thor looked up and smiled at me.

"Hello Lady Evelyn. I'm pleased to meet you. I have heard much about you."

I stepped out of Steve's shadow and shook Thor's hand. Wait, he had heard a lot about me.

"It's nice to meet you as well Thor. And please call me Evy." I replied.

"Oh Evy, you are with child. Captain did not mention that to me. Captain, you did not tell me you were to be a father."

I saw Steve's cheeks turn red as he sputtered a little.

"Oh uh no it's not Steve's. Steve and I aren't a couple." I quickly said.

"Oh I am sorry. My mistake." Thor said.

Once the awkward moment passed the room became delightful. Thor went on and on with stories of Asgard since he now had fresh ears that were more than willing to hear his stories. He spoke of the rainbow bridge and of the magical abilities his family possessed. He was right in the middle of a story about bilge snipe when an idea struck me. All this time Bucky had been trying to regain his memory using therapy. Maybe therapy wasn't the answer. Maybe this was something only magic could fix. Maybe someone on Asgard could help.


	21. Chapter 21

Thor continued to tell stories but I wasn't really listening anymore. I couldn't stop thinking that someone on Asgard might be able to help Bucky. I didn't even realize Steve was calling my name until he touched me. I jumped when his hand touched my arm.

"Evy, is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, I was just thinking." I replied.

"Thinking about what Lady Evy? You looked like you were a thousand light years away." Thor said.

A thousand light years away was right. Well however many light years it took to get to Asgard.

"Thor, you said the people on Asgard have magical abilities right?"

"Yes, there are many on Asgard who have been trained in the arts of magic. My mother and my brother Loki are very skilled." Thor replied with a smile.

"And would those magical abilities be able to help someone who had their brain messed with? Like someone who had thoughts taken out and other thoughts put in."

I was now sitting on the edge of my seat as I waited for Thor to answer. I saw Steve suddenly realize what I was getting at. Now he was just as eager to hear Thor's answer as I was. Thor seemed oblivious to the seriousness of my question and how badly we wanted to hear the right answer.

"I suppose so. I am not well versed in the ways of magic. My mother and brother are both incredibly skill though so I'm sure they could be capable of it. I have seen Asgardians control people with their mind before. There is actually a funny story about…"

I could feel the hope inside me rising with each word that Thor spoke. It was possible. The people on Asgard might be able to help Bucky. I looked at Steve and saw the hope in his eyes that reflected my own.

"Thor sorry to interrupt but I have something I need to ask you." Steve said.

Thor stopped his story and looked at Steve. He suddenly noticed that Steve and I both looked very tense.

"What is it Captain?"

I listened to Steve explain to Thor who Bucky was. Steve explained his side of it all the way up until it was time for me to enter the story. Thor listened intently to everything that Steve said. Steve told him about the Hydra experiments and the brainwashing. Then Steve looked at me and Thor's gaze followed. I began to tell my story. I told Thor of my time as an undercover Hydra agent and my secret mission to find Bucky and bring him back. I told him about Scotland and about when we returned to SHIELD.

"He is the father of my baby and I'm pretty sure he is the love of my life. He is trying so hard to find himself and every time he fails it kills him. I can't handle seeing him like this anymore. I love Bucky more than I imagined I could ever love someone and I just want him to be happy."

I paused and looked at Steve then we both looked at Thor.

"And you are wondering if there is someone on Asgard who can help him?" he asked.

"Yes, SHIELD has been trying everything they know how to do and it's not working. We need some divine intervention." I said.

I didn't want to sound like I was begging but I was begging.

"I know you have rules in Asgard and we don't expect an answer right away. Is it possible that you could get permission to bring Bucky there?" Steve chimed in.

Thor sat back and I could tell he was thinking. Steve and I waited eagerly for Thor to answer. Before he could answer though we heard the door open. I looked up and saw Bucky come in the room. I could tell just from his eyes that today hadn't gone any better. He quickly shielded that when he saw I was with Steve and Thor. I got up and went over to him. I kissed him quickly and he gently brushed his fingertips over the baby bump. I took Bucky over to where Thor and Steve were.

"Bucky this is Thor. I'm sure you have heard about him."

Bucky held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Thor shook his hand and eyed Bucky's other metal hand.

"I have heard much about you Mr. Barnes. That is impressive" Thor said referring to Bucky's metal arm. "I am sure that can pack one hell of a punch."

Bucky flexed the metal arm, making it ripple. Some day he was proud of that arm and some days he wasn't. I guess it was nice to have it complimented and admired by someone. I sat down on the couch and Bucky sat down next to me. Our bodies instantly gravitated towards one another and I ended up half in his lap. Our fingers were entwined while his other hand gently caressed the back of my neck. In this moment it wasn't sexual. It was just a need to be touching each other, a need to feel each other. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept us grounded.

Nat and Clint walked in shortly after that. The room began to liven with conversation all around. Bucky silently observed everyone. Our fingers stayed entwined and his cold metal fingers on the back of my neck was a steady rhythm that I noticed and didn't notice at the same time. So much of the day had passed with the Avengers that were present telling stories of their triumphs. They welcomed Bucky and I into the conversation at any opportunity they could and I gladly joined in. Bucky said a few words but only when he was addressed directly. His silence didn't seem to bother any of these people the way it did other people and I loved them all for it. It was time for dinner so we all gradually started getting up. Nat and Clint headed out first with Steve right behind them. Bucky stood up and held out his hands. I took them and he pulled me up off the couch. I didn't actually need the help, I'm not that pregnant yet, but it was the gesture that mattered. I looked at Thor as he stood up and he nodded at me. I felt a rush of relief. He was going to try.

Tony and Bruce were here for dinner which meant that the Avengers were going to have dinner together. Steve usually brought me along to these dinners back when I was at SHIELD before I went undercover at Hydra. I hadn't seen the whole group together in a long time. I was in my room getting changed while Bucky sat on our bed with a book.

"Are you sure that you don't want to come?" I ask for the hundredth time.

He looks up from his book and smiles. "Yes, I'm sure. You need to have some time with your friends without having to worry about me. I would just dampen the mood."

"I don't think so but I'm not going to force you to go." I replied before I disappeared into the bathroom again.

I came back out a few minutes later in skinny jeans, flats and a gray lacey shirt. I actually made my hair look nice and put on a decent amount of makeup.

"How do I look?" I asked doing a little spin.

Bucky looked up over the pages of his book and raised his eyebrow.

"You aren't secretly going on a date are you?"

"No. You just never know what Nat is going to show up in so I have to raise my game a little bit." I replied.

I kneeled on the bed to give Bucky a kiss before I left. He pulled me fully onto him and held me tight as he kissed me. The kiss was rough at first then deepened to become softer. I wanted to stay in his arms but I made myself pull away. I bit my lip as I looked at him.

"Maybe when I come back I will show you what I'm wearing under this." I said with a smirk.

"Hopefully nothing." He replied.

I kissed him quickly one more time and he quickly caressed my belly.

"Bye, I will be back later. Make sure to wait up. I love you."

"Love you too." He replied before I closed the door.

I made my way to the top floor where the Avengers dinners were always at. The elevators opened and all the Avengers turned to see who it was. I stepped out and came over to them.

"Hey, woah, Evy! No one told me you were knocked up. Steve did you do that?" Tony said pointing to my rounded belly.

"Why does everyone keep thinking it was me?" Steve said.

I grabbed Tony and hugged him. "Nice to see you too Tony."

Tony hugged me back. "Okay but seriously is no one going to tell me who knocked you up?"

I smirked. "Hmm well I could just keep you guessing. I think I like that idea."

I looked around at everyone and saw they were laughing. Oh yeah they liked this game and they were going to keep my secret. I went over to Bruce and hugged him.

"It's good to see you again Bruce." I said.

When he hugged me back I whispered Bucky's name in his ear. He smiled and laughed a little bit.

"Wow, didn't expect that one." He said.

"Oh come on!" Tony yelled.

"You are just going to have to guess." I said.

"Barton was it you?" Tony said pointing at him.

"No! I did not do that." Clint replied.

Tony pointed at Thor. "You?"

Thor shook his head and laughed. "No Stark, I also assumed it was Rogers."

"Fury?" he asked looking at me.

The entire room burst into laughter at that one. I was laughing so hard that tears began to run down my face. I wiped away the tears and tried to speak again.

"No, Tony, it's not Fury."

Tony groaned and we all moved over to the dinner table. All through dinner Tony rattled off random names. It was driving him insane that he did not know who the father of my baby was. Everyone else still thought it was hilarious and continued to tease him about it. When dinner was over we went over to the couches. Drinks were poured but Tony and I kept to our soda.

"It's you Banner! You said you didn't expect that one and that's because it was you." Tony said.

"Wrong again there Stark." Bruce replied.

I pulled out my phone and texted Bucky. 'Sure you don't want to join us? We are just hanging out with some drinks.'

He immediately texted back. 'You that bored without me?'

'Maybe I just want to see your face.' I replied.

'I guess I can't argue with that. Be there in 5'

I waited to hear the elevator and when it dinged everyone turned to look at it. Bucky stepped out and I could tell he felt awkward with all the stares.

"Who is that?" Tony asked.

I jumped up and pulled Bucky over to the couches. I smiled at Tony.

"Baby daddy!" Tony yelled.

 **Okay so I'm playing around with the universe a little bit. This is pretending that AOU didn't happen and the events in Thor The Dark World didn't happen. Frigga is still alive and Loki wasn't sent to the dungeons. He just got scolded basically.**


	22. Chapter 22

Bucky seemed to blend in well with the Avengers. The group was big enough that they could all talk without really noticing that Bucky stayed silent. I talked enough for the both of us so no one was bothered by Bucky's silence. That is until Tony decided it was time to interrogate Bucky.

"So Bucky, you are going to take care of our girl right?" he asked.

Bucky had been paying attention to the conversations around him even though he was pretending not to. I felt him tense next to me when Tony said his name.

"I plan to." Bucky replied.

"No murderous killing sprees, no urge to punch something?" Tony asked.

I loved Tony but sometimes he could be such an ass. I really didn't want Bucky to get upset.

"No, Tony. We are good. Bucky won't hurt me." I said quickly.

Clint came around with a round of beers for everyone that was allowed to drink and it was perfect timing. It cleared the tension out of the room. Bucky sipped his beer with his face calm and blank but I knew that those words had resonated in him. I pulled his face to mine and gently kissed him. I ran my thumb over his cheekbone and smiled at him.

"I love you." I whispered just for him to hear.

"Okay no pda. You guys are gross." Tony said.

"Get used to it Stark. They do that a lot." Nat said.

"So you guys knew all about this and didn't bother to tell your friend Tony. I'm hurt."

"Hey Steve is the only one who knew about the baby before today." Clint said.

"Okay can we talk about anything other than me?" I asked.

Thor started in on one of his stories and the attention was turned to him. The rest of the night was pretty calm. Finally we all decided to head to bed. I said my goodbyes to everyone with Bucky right by my side. He politely said goodbye to everyone. Steve came over to talk to Bucky and I used the opportunity to talk to Thor.

"Lady Evy, I will return to Asgard in 3 days. I will ask my father, Odin, for permission to bring Barnes to Asgard. Am I to assume that you wish to accompany him?" Thor asked.

"Yes, if I can please. I don't want to be away from him and I don't want him to be by himself. I know Steve will want to come but if you can only get permission for Bucky and I then that is good enough."

"I can ask for Captain Rogers to accompany you. I am not sure when I shall return but I will send word to you when I can."

"Thank you Thor. I cannot express how much this means to me." I said hugging him.

He hugged me back and laughed. "It is no trouble. I only hope that it can be solved."

Bucky was waiting for me by the elevator and watching me with Thor. I could tell he was curious as to what we were talking about but I knew he wouldn't ask. Everyone else had already left so it was just Bucky and I in the elevator. The instant the doors closed Bucky pulled me against him. His fingers sunk into my hair as his lips crushed onto mine. Our bodies were pressed tight against each other. Bucky pulled his lips off for a moment.

"I've been waiting to do that all night." He said breathlessly.

"Well I did promise to show you what I was wearing underneath this." I replied.

The elevator doors opened and someone cleared their throat. Bruce was standing there looking extremely awkward.

"I uh forgot something up there. You two have a nice night." He said shuffling past us.

I laughed as we hurried down the hall to our room. We were both impatient to get back there. It felt like I was wearing too much clothing and my body needed to be touching Bucky's. I was dying to feel the slide of his skin against mine. Whenever Bucky and I felt this way it was like there was electricity around us. We barely had time to open the door before our bodies slammed together again. I pulled Bucky towards the bed and pushed him down onto it. I pulled my shirt off and threw it on the ground. My pants and shoes were quick to follow. Bucky's gaze darkened as his eyes raked over my body. I was wearing a black lacey bra with panties to match. The panties were basically see through. I got up on the bed on my knees and leaned over Bucky. I slid my hands under his shirt and pulled it over his head. His hands ghosted down my sides to rest on my hips. The cold of his metal hand always gave me goosebumps. I could see that his pants had suddenly gotten tighter and I began to moisten at just the knowledge of it. In a swift movement Bucky flipped me under him. He had his arms on either side of me like a cage and his knee slid in between my legs. I parted my legs as his lips touched mine. His lips left mine to trail downward. He kissed along my jawline and down my neck. I made a small squeak when he gently bit my neck. Bucky reached around to unhook my bra and throw it to the floor with the rest of my clothes. He kissed my breasts and sucked gently on each nipple causing them to peak. His lips continued down as he kissed my sides then around my rounded belly. His fingers slipped inside my lace panties and he pulled them down my legs. He slid his hands up my thighs and gently parted my legs. His flesh hand slid between my wet folds to my clit. I bit my lip as his stroked it. He gave me a smirk before his face disappeared between my legs.

His tongue licked between my folds and he began to suck on my clit. I felt his cold metal hand begin to slide up my thigh and to my entrance. He slid one cold finger inside of me andI cried out from the sensation. Bucky was very strange about his metal hand. He usually touched me with his flesh hand because it was a part of him. As much as I tried to tell him the metal arm was as much a part of him as his flesh one he usually didn't agree with me. This new sensation was like something I had never experienced. It was like we had crossed a new threshold in our relationship. Bucky's metal finger began to lose the cold associated with it as it moved inside of me. I had seen Bucky made the metal panels on his arm ripple before but when he did it with his finger I thought I was going to explode. The metal wasn't sharp or cold anymore. It rippled against my walls causing me to grab onto the sheets to stay grounded. Bucky's tongue continued its work on my clit as his finger brought me to the edge. His flesh hand came up to my rounded belly and he laid his hand there. He put his hand possessively around the bump and it was enough to send me over the edge. Something in Bucky had changed when he found out about the baby. It was like a primal part of him had become attached to our unborn child. He was incredibly protective and always had the urge to be touching where his child grew. I grabbed the sheets in my hands as my body began to shudder. All I could see was Bucky and all I could feel was Bucky. His tongue and finger did not stop but their speed increased. I let go of the sheet and laced my fingers in Bucky's hair as my body continued on its high.

"Bucky, oh god, Bucky. Fuck!" I cried out.

Bucky laughed deep in his throat which only served to heighten the sensation of his mouth on me. I held on for dear life as my body continued to soar. I began to come down from the sensation but I was in no way finished with Bucky. I pulled his head from between my legs and he licked his lips.

"I need you inside of me." I said with my voice sounding hoarse.

"Your wish is my command." Bucky replied with a smirk.

He pulled his jeans off and they landed on the floor with a thud. I could see his erection large and throbbing. I felt a fresh new wave of wet between my legs in anticipation of him. Bucky sat on the bed and pulled me up onto his lap. He held onto my hips as he lifted me up. Our bodies were flush against each other. My little baby bump against his stone wall of abs. I laced my fingers into his hair as Bucky lifted me up. I spread my legs around his waist and he lowered me down onto him. I pulled his lips to mine as he slid fully inside of me. We both moaned at the sensation of my tight walls around his rock hard cock. Bucky rocked his hips up into me and I cried out.

"Don't be gentle Bucky. I need you to fuck me." I said.

Bucky didn't reply with words but instead jerked his hips against mine, driving himself further inside of me.


	23. Chapter 23

1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks and still nothing from Thor. I hadn't told Bucky anything yet because I didn't want him to get his hopes up for nothing. He had been in therapy for a month and a half now and nothing had changed. His nightmares continued and sometimes his temper flared. It seemed like the only thing that kept him grounded was me and the baby. My voice was the only thing that could pull him from his nightmares. I held onto the hope that Thor would come back with good news but every day that I didn't hear from him my hope began to dwindle.

Bucky was sound asleep and didn't move a muscle. His nightmare had been particularly bad last night. I spent almost an hour just holding him while he struggled to get back to sleep. I sat up a little bit to look at his arm. It wasn't very often that Bucky was completely asleep while I was awake. I looked at the spot where his flesh merged with the metal. I had seen it a thousand times but it still hurt to look at every time. It must have been unimaginable pain. I couldn't imagine how much it hurt. Even after all this time the flesh looked raw and irritated. I gently touched the scarring and the exact place where flesh became metal. I wanted to stay there in his arms but I really had to use the bathroom. I had been noticing I had to pee more than usual lately. I got up and used the bathroom. At 12 weeks pregnant my baby bump was in full bloom and it stretched the tank top that I wore. My panties were low cut so there was a tiny gap between where my tank top ended and my panties began

I quietly snuck back into the bedroom. Bucky was sprawled out over the bed. His metal arm was behind his head and his flesh arm was across his body. He must have been moving around because the sheets were on the floor which left him in just his underwear. I looked at the hard contours of his body and how they looked relaxed in his sleep. It made him look younger and took away the harshness of life. I loved being able to watch him like this. I carefully crept back onto the bed and looked at him. I reached out and gently moved the hair off of his face. His features that were so clouded by life during the day were peaceful here. His beautifully carved mouth for once was not wavering on a frown. The only time he smiled was when it was just the two of us. A small smile always crossed his face when he looked at my baby bump. Every time he touched it I could see the change in him. This baby, our baby, was giving him hope. I was sitting indian style next to him when his eyes began to flutter open. I sat there and waited for him to wake up. He smiled when he saw me sitting there next to him. He sat up and stretched.

"Hey, have you been up long?" he asked.

"No, I just woke up a minute ago."

"What were you looking at?" he asked.

"You." I replied with a smile.

"Me? What about me?"

"I just like to look at you." I said before I lay across his lap.

Bucky ran his fingers through my hair and leaned down to kiss me.

"Good morning." He whispered.

"Good morning to you too."

Bucky let his flesh hand trail to my belly and he lifted up my tank top. He placed gentle kisses on the rounded flesh.

"Good morning baby." He said into my belly.

I loved seeing him like this. I couldn't wait until the baby was big enough to kick so Bucky could feel it. He looked up at me but kept his cheek pressed against my belly.

"Can the baby hear me yet?" he asked.

"No not yet. It's usually around 23 weeks when they can hear you."

Bucky frowned but placed another kiss right below my belly button then sat back up. I trailed my fingers down his abs and around to his side. He jerked a little bit. I knew he was ticklish there and it was fun to torture him with it.

"I was thinking that we should go out today." I said.

"Out? Out where?" he asked as he ran his fingers through my hair again.

"Well its Saturday and you don't have therapy today. We should just go out somewhere for breakfast then stay out. I don't even remember the last time we left SHIELD and I think it would be good to get out and get some fresh air. There is a really beautiful park around here. Do you think you would be okay around a lot of people?" I asked.

"As long as you are with me I will be fine. I would love to get out of here for the day."

"Good. Sounds like a plan. We should probably get up and get ready then because I am starving."

I got out of bed and took a shower. When I finished with my shower Bucky took his. We both knew that if we showered together we would end up doing more than showering. I got dressed while he was in the shower. It was a little bit chilly outside today which was my favorite weather. I put on some skinny jeans that now had a modified preggo stretch top. I put on my favorite purple v neck with a black cardigan and a black and purple skull scarf. My shirt was not a maternity shirt so my baby bump stretched it making it very obvious that I was pregnant. My hair was a little wild today and I didn't feel like dealing with it so I put it up in a bun. Bucky had gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed while I was deciding which shoes to wear. I held up my black converse and a pair of boots.

"Which ones should I wear?" I asked.

"I like the converse. They are very you." He said with a smile.

I sat down and put my shoes on while Bucky finished getting dressed. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt with a black button up over it. I had bought him a pair of sneakers that I thought he would like and he put them on. I finished my makeup and looked at him. He had on a flesh covering for his hand so that we would blend in better.

"Can I try something?" I asked him.

"Umm I guess." He replied.

I grabbed a hair tie and climbed onto the bed behind him. I brushed his hair with my fingers and pulled it back. I put his hair up in a man bun then came around to look at him from the front. My jaw dropped.

"What? What did you do?" he asked.

"I put your hair in a bun and holy fuck is it hot." I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Why have I never done that to you before?" I said.

Bucky smirked and pulled me against him.

"Does it make you all tingly to look at?" He asked as he ran his hand up under my shirt in the back.

I shivered and nodded my head. I could tell he liked what the man bun was doing to me. He leaned down and kissed me. Our kiss deepened until my stomach interrupted. Bucky pulled back and looked defeated.

"Sorry. Baby is hungry." I said.

"To be continued." He said.

I packed my purse and gave Bucky a wallet with a fake ID in it. I didn't bother to ask permission to leave because I knew Fury would give me shit about it. I texted Steve to tell him we went out just in case anyone needed to know. We walked through the building and out the front doors. As soon as we stepped outside I took a deep breath. Ah, it was good to be out of that building. I looked over at Bucky and saw he felt the same way. Today was about us and today we were going to have fun.


	24. Chapter 24

I breathed in the fresh air as I walked hand in hand with Bucky down the street. The streets were full of people but no one stared at us. We were just two faces in the crowd and it felt wonderful. It felt like everyone at SHIELD was watching us and out here no one was. Bucky looked like he wasn't watching everything around him but I knew he was.

"Does it matter where we go for breakfast?" I asked him.

"No, I don't really know anything around here so it's up to you."

There was a food truck that used to be around here that served amazing organic waffles and I had been dying for one recently. They were always at the farmer's market in the park which was perfect.

"Have you ever been to a farmer's market?" I asked Bucky as I led him in that direction.

"Can't say that I have." He replied.

"I think you will like it. I used to come here all the time and I always made sure to stop in when I was in town."

I followed my feet to the farmer's market and smiled when I saw it come into view. The first time I came to this place was right after SHIELD found me. I was still bitter and full of rage. The people at the farmer's market were all so kind and personal that it was the perfect balm for me. I had gotten to know each of the vendors by name and actually came to miss them sometimes. They didn't know my real name since I wasn't in the habit of telling people my real name. My middle name was Grace so that is what I went by out in public. Right at the front there were some new booths that I didn't recognize. I stopped to look at what they had anyways.

"So what exactly do you do here?" Bucky asked.

"Well it's a place for local farmers or bakers or anything really to bring their stuff. You can buy fresh everything here. It all supports local businesses."

Bucky just nodded and looked around at the stands of fruits and vegetables. I caught a whiff of coffee and followed my nose. I pulled Bucky along behind me and got in line for coffee. This booth was run by the most adorable hipster couple I had ever met. They were some of the nicest people and I did genuinely miss them. Their fresh pressed and brewed coffee was a gift from the gods. I stood in line with Bucky and wrapped my arms around his torso to hold him close to me. He smiled down at me and kissed my head. We got to the front of the line and May squealed. She came around the front of the booth and grabbed me in a hug.

"Oh my goddess Grace! Where have you been? I've missed you so much!" she said.

I hugged her back just as tightly.

"I know I know. I've been away." I replied.

Todd came around and joined in on the hug before we all let go. He handed me a cup and it smelled divine.

"We actually brought your favorite today. It's like the world was telling us you would be here." Todd said.

"Oh I'm sorry I can't drink it." I put my hand on my rounded belly. "I have to do decaf today."

May squealed again and immediately put her hand on my baby bump. She had been 8 month pregnant with their first baby when I met them which I think it was drew me to her. She felt the little tiny bump then looked up at Bucky. I grabbed his arm and pulled him up next to me.

"I'm sorry I should have introduced you. This is James. James this is May and her husband Todd."

Bucky held out his hand to shake May's hand and then Todd's.

"Nice to meet you both." He said.

"Oh Gracie, you got yourself a handsome man there. And a baby! Oh my goodness I can hardly believe it."

I smiled up at Bucky. "I know. I can hardly believe it myself sometimes. I should let you get back to your customers though."

May hugged me one more time. "Okay but don't be a stranger. I want to see that baby belly."

Todd handed me a cup of decaf and I handed my regular coffee to Bucky.

"It was nice to meet you both." Bucky said with a smile.

We walked away and Bucky smiled at me. He took a drink of his coffee and his eyes widened.

"Wow that is good coffee." He said.

I took a drink of my coffee and it tasted better than any other decaf I had ever tried.

"Damn even their decaf is on point."

Bucky smirked. "So Grace and James. We sound so normal and boring."

I ran my hand down his arm and laced my fingers in his again.

"I know right?"

I lead Bucky to where the waffles were. My stomach was growling so loud I was pretty sure the entire farmers market could hear it. There was a younger guy working the stand and I didn't recognize him. I ordered the usual for me and for Bucky. There were picnic tables and I led Bucky over to them. We sat and ate our waffles. It was all so normal out here. Bucky didn't have the tension in his face that he did when we were eating at SHIELD. He looked relaxed and he looked happy. I smiled at his as he enjoyed his waffles. I was head over heels in love with this man.

After we finished breakfast we took a walk in the park. The trails were pretty empty so a lot of the time it was just the two of us. I could tell that Bucky liked being out in nature as much as I did. Here there were no cameras or people watching us. I looked up at Bucky and saw the way the sun glinted in his hair. I bit my lip as I looked at that manbun. It was making it difficult to not tear his clothes off right here and right now. Actually I had always had this weird fantasy about having sex in the woods. I turned down a path that I knew led to a very dense part of the woods. I suddenly couldn't think about anything but Bucky. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or maybe it was just me. I saw the perfect opportunity and pulled Bucky into the trees.

"Where are we going?" He asked as I pulled him through the trees.

"Just follow me. Trust me, you will like it."

I looked around and saw the perfect spot. There were a lot of trees all clumped together. I pulled Bucky over to one and I leaned back against it. I grabbed him against me and pressed my lips to his.

"Evy, what are you doing?" he asked.

I sighed. "Just indulge my fantasy okay? I've always wanted to fuck someone in the woods."

Bucky looked around. "Here?"

"Yes here. Come on Bucky please."

I stuck out my lower lip and batted my eyelashes at him. He groaned.

"You know that I'm not going to say no to you." He said.

"I know. We can be quick."

We both pulled down our pants just enough. I stroked Bucky's cock with my hand and it instantly got hard. I smirked and wrapped my arms around his neck. He gently lifted me up and braced himself against the tree. He swiftly slid himself inside of me. We didn't wait for my body to fully adjust before our hips moved against each other. This was so different than anything we had done behind closed doors. The sun was shining through the trees and we could hear nature all around us. Bucky's hips slammed into mine as he thrust quickly in and out of me. My adrenaline was pumping and my heart was beating fast. Bucky was not being gentle and I didn't want him to be. I dug my fingers into the back of his head as he thrust into me. In what felt like no time at all I could feel my body begin to climax. I kissed Bucky to keep from crying out as I came. Bucky moaned against my lips as his own release came and I felt him release inside of me. He set me back down on the ground. I had conveniently stolen a few napkins just in case I got my way. We cleaned up and zipped up again. I smirked at Bucky as we made our way back to the path.

"Thanks for indulging me." I said.

Bucky smiled. "My pleasure."


	25. Chapter 25

We walk through the park like just like a normal couple. This break from SHIELD is exactly what we needed. Bucky and I walk with our fingers laced together.

"Hey Bucky do you mind if we do a little shopping?" I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Sure. I don't care. Whatever makes you happy."

"Just being near you makes me happy." I say.

We walk out of the park and hail a cab. It takes us to the mall and we get out. I stop with Bucky just outside the doors.

"Okay there are a lot of people in here. Is that okay with you?" I ask.

"Yes, I will be alright. None of them know who I am."

I kiss him on the cheek and we walk inside. I feel his fingers tighten around mine as he sees how many people are in the mall. I reassuringly stroke his fingers with my thumb and smile at him.

"We can leave any time you want." I say.

"It's okay. I'm alright." He replies.

I wanted to come to the mall to look at some new clothes. My clothes are tighter on me now so I need to get some things that fit better. We are walking to the store I usually go to when we pass a baby store. I stop and Bucky jerks back.

"What is it?" he asks looking concerned.

I look at him and then look at the baby store.

"Do you mind if we go in here?" I ask.

He smiles at me.

"Sure Evy. Let's look around."

The whole store is an explosion of pastels and I hate to admit that I love it. I've become so used to my black wardrobe that sometimes I forget how much I used to like colors. I used to live in floral dresses. I remember buying so much pink when I found out I was having Mia. I put my hand on my bump as I think about this little one. It is still too early to tell but something inside of me tells me that it is a boy. This pregnancy has been so different in every way already. The store is a little overwhelming with the amount of baby things. Bucky looks like a deer in headlights. An associate comes over and smiles at us.

"Hi can I help you two in any way? Looking for anything specific?" she asks.

"We are actually just looking around." I say.

She notices my hand on my bump and smiles.

"How far along are you?" she asks.

"12 weeks." I say with a smile.

"Oh still early then. It's all so exciting. Well my name is Lisa so please let me know if you need help with anything." She says before she walks away.

Bucky and I look around the store and I can't help but love everything. It's all so tiny and precious. I lose track of Bucky for a moment and when I come around the corner I see him staring at a rack of baby clothes. He looks like he is thinking very intently. I come up beside him.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask.

He pulls an outfit off the rack and holds it up.

"I know we don't know yet but I really like this outfit. Do you think we could buy it?" he asks.

I look at the outfit he is holding and instantly fall in love with it. It is an outfit for a boy which means that Bucky feels the same way I do. The outfit is a little pair of jeans with a navy blue sweater. It is a very simple outfit but it is completely adorable. I love it even more since Bucky picked it out. I hug Bucky because I can't control myself.

"I love it so much. Almost as much as I love you." I say smiling up at him.

He smiles down at me then kisses me sweetly. I let go of him and we take the outfit up to the register. We could go a little crazy in this store but until we find out for sure what we are having we don't want to buy too many things. Lisa smiles at us when we come up to the register.

"Find everything you need?" she asks.

"For now yeah." I reply.

"So is this your first?" she asks.

I feel the tightness in my chest that I always feel when I think about Mia. I nervously tuck my hair behind my ear.

"Uh no. This is my second pregnancy." I say.

She smiles even wider.

"Oh so you have another little one at home?"

I can feel that Bucky is uncomfortable next to me and I feel the same way.

"Oh umm no. I used to." I say.

Lisa's face suddenly drops.

"Oh my goodness I'm so sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to make you upset. Here is your bag. Keep your head up love and good luck with the new baby."

"Thanks." Bucky says taking the bag from her.

We walk out of the store and Bucky stops me before we go too far. We step to the side of the walkway and he pulls me into a hug.

"Are you alright Evy?" he asks.

"Yeah I will be okay. Let's go."

We had just started to walk to another store when my phone rings. It is Steve so I answer.

"Hey Steve. What's up?" I ask.

"Thor is back. He wanted me to call you."

Thor is back! He is finally back!

"Thanks Steve. We will be there as soon as we can."

Bucky is watching me looking concerned. I hang up the phone and smile at him.

"We have to get back to SHIELD."

"Why? Is everything alright?" he asks.

"Yes, let's go."

The taxi ride back to SHIELD feels like the longest taxi ride of my life. I am anxious to hear what Thor has to say. I go right up to the floor where I know he will be. Bucky is watching my every move and I know he is trying to figure out why I am so happy all of a sudden. The elevator doors open and I see Steve standing with Thor. I stride right over to them and Bucky follows behind me.

"Greetings Lady Evy. You look well. You are rounder than the last time I saw you." Thor says.

"What did they say?" I ask.

I ignore the rounder comment and don't bother with formalities or greeting. I just need to know. Thor smiles at me.

"Are you ready to go to Asgard?" he asks.


	26. Chapter 26

Bucky comes up beside me and touches my arm.

"Asgard? Why are you going to Asgard?" he asks looking concerned.

I cannot contain the smile that spreads across my face.

"Bucky we are going to Asgard! I asked Thor if there was something or someone in Asgard who could help you with your memory. He had to get permission but now he has it. We can go to Asgard!"

Bucky looks shocked and then he smiles.

"They can help me?" he asks looking at Thor.

"There is magic in my realm. My mother and my brother are most gifted with magic and there may be something they can do to help." He replies.

Bucky drops the bag he is holding and wraps his arms around me. I kiss him and put my hands on his cheeks.

"This might be exactly what we have been looking for." I say.

He smiles and kisses me again.

"I love you so much. Thank you." He says.

Steve clears his throat and Bucky and I look over.

"So when can we leave?" Steve asks Thor.

"We can leave immediately. You do not need to pack anything. We can provide you with everything you will need." He says.

"You are coming too?" Bucky asks Steve.

"Yes, if that is alright with you Buck."

Bucky looks at me and I smile at him. I squeeze his hand gently. He looks back at Steve.

"Of course it is alright."

I can see the relief on Steve's face when Bucky says that.

"Alright it is settled then. We can leave now." Thor says.

"Wait, can I just take a small bag with me? I don't want to be without anything from home." I say.

"Sure. I will meet you all downstairs." He says before heading off.

Bucky and I head back to our room. Bucky sets the bag down on the bed and sits down. I can tell that he is thinking and processing. I sit down next to him.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask.

"What if it doesn't work? What if there is no way to get my memories back?"

I turn him to face me and I hold his hands in mine.

"Don't think like that okay. It might work. Even if it doesn't work it still doesn't change anything with us. I love you and you love me. None of that is ever going to change."

He nods and runs his thumbs over my fingers. His mind seems to have eased for the moment. I kiss his fingers before letting go and standing up. I grab a backpack from the closet. I grab a few thongs and throw them in. I highly doubt they have those on Asgard and I don't want to be without them. Bucky smirks at me as he watches me throw them in the bag. I wink at him as I throw his favorite one in there. I grab my favorite comfy pants and hoodie. Bucky hands me the framed ultrasound picture and I put it in the bag.

"Thanks, that was next on my list. Is there anything you want to take?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Not really. I don't really have anything I'm that attached to."

It saddens me a little to hear him say that. I go back into the closet and go to the back. I pull out the box hidden under a pile of clothes. I've only shown Bucky this box one time and I rarely ever look at it myself. I open the box and take out the tiny photo album. I can't leave this planet without the only pictures of Mia that I have. I wrap the photo album in a tshirt and put it inside my bag. Bucky gives me a knowing smile when I come back out.

"Okay well if you don't want anything then I think we are ready to go." I say.

He stands up and puts his arm around my waist. He puts his hand on the little bump.

"I've got all I need right here." He says.

I kiss him and he takes the backpack from me. I glance around the room one more time before we leave. Who knows how long we will be in Asgard for. It might be awhile before I see this room again. Bucky holds my hand as we walk down the hall. I can already hear Thor's booming voice talking to Steve before we round the corner. They smile at us as we come in.

"Are we all ready?" Thor asks.

"Yes, we are more than ready. Let's go to Asgard." I say.

We go outside and walk to a clearing. Thor stops and turns to look at us.

"Alright I am going to call Heimdall to pull us through the bifrost. Let me explain a little bit first. The bifrost will open and it will pull us up. The sensation is going to feel very strange your first time. I assure you that it is completely safe. If you feel better holding on to each other then I suggest you do that."

Steve and Bucky immediately take hold of one of my arms. They obviously want to keep a hold on me for security. I smile at each of them. My boys. So overprotective and adorable. We stand in a small circle and Thor looks at each of us.

"Ready?" he asks.

We all nod in unison and their grip on me tightens.

"Heimdall, open the bifrost."

Before Thor even finishes his sentence I can feel the pulling sensation. Light and colors explode all around us. I hold on to Bucky and Steve as I watch the lights dance. I can start to feel like it's going to be time to land soon. I think it is instincts kicking in so I prepare myself. Suddenly I can see something solid looking up ahead. It comes closer and then there is solid underfoot. I start to pitch forward but Bucky and Steve hold on to me. The light fades and Thor is standing there in front of us.

"Is everyone alright?" he asks.

The guys look at me and I nod.

"Yep. All good here." I say.

Steve lets go of my arm and Bucky laces his fingers in mine. We follow Thor and he stops again in front of another man.

"This is Heimdall. He is the watcher and the keeper of the bifrost." Thor says.

"Hello. Welcome to Asgard." He says to us.

Thor keeps walking and we follow. We step out onto a bridge that is glowing with light and color the same way the bifrost was. I stare at it and watch as it glows brighter under our footsteps.

"This is Asgard." Thor says.

I look up at him with his arms stretched out then I look beyond him. My mouth drops open as I see Asgard.

 **Hey Readers! I haven't heard from anyone in a while! If you are reading this then can you please let me know? I want to know what you think and if you are liking it! I will be eternally grateful for each comment!**


	27. Chapter 27

What I am looking at is the most amazing sight I have ever seen in my life. Asgard is beautiful. I look all around me and stare in wonder. Thor is smiling at us with pride as we gawk at each and every sight. I can't stop watching the bridge change colors under my feet as we walk closer to the palace. I look at Bucky and see that he is just as mesmerized as I am. It is a long walk but I enjoy it. There is so much to look at and everything is spectacular. We finally approach the palace and the front doors swing open. Thor turns to us and smiles.

"Welcome to my home."

The guards nod at us as we step through the door. The inside of the palace is even more beautiful than the outside is. Thor continues to walk and we all blindly follow him as we look at the magnificence of it all. He stops abruptly and I almost knock into him. He opens a large gold door and we follow him inside.

"These shall be your chambers. This is the common room and each of those doors leads to a bedroom. The bathing room is through that door and that door leads to a closet filled with clothes for you. I will give you time to settle in while I inform my father that we have arrived. I can send a servant if you need help dressing for dinner."

We all stare at Thor as we process our surroundings and everything that he is saying to us.

"Oh umm sure. That would be good." I say.

Thor turns to leave and I grab his arm before he goes.

"Thank you Thor. Thank you so much for doing this." I say.

"It is my pleasure Lady Evy. I will return to escort you all to dinner. Goodbye."

Thor closes the door and the sound resonates throughout the room. When he is gone we all turn and look at each other.

"Holy shit. We are in Asgard." I say smiling.

Steve goes over to the balcony and opens the door.

"Evy, you have to see this." He says looking at me.

Bucky sets the backpack on the couch and we walk over to the balcony. Steve is already out on it when we step out there. I gasp as I see the view. We can see all of Asgard from here. Bucky wraps his arms around me from behind and I lean back against him. I look over at Steve and see the smile and wonder on his face. Even if Bucky never regains his memories I think this trip is going to be incredible for us. This is exactly what we need. I turn around and grab one of Bucky's hands and one of Steve's.

"Let's go look around." I say pulling them back inside.

I go to the first door and open it. Inside is a bedroom that is done in tones of blue and silver. I smile and look at Steve.

"I would say that this is your room." I say.

He looks around and smiles.

"Yes, I like this one." He replies.

I pull Bucky back out of the room and to the next door. This room is done in tones of gold and cream.

"This one is nice. Is there one more?" Bucky asks.

"Yeah I think so. I think that for proprieties sake they had to give us each our own room. We aren't married so it's not proper for us to be sharing a room." I say laughing.

Steve sticks his head inside the room.

"Evy I think you will like the next bedroom even more." He says.

Bucky and I head to the next room and I smile as soon as we step in there. This room is all grays and purple. Yes, this is exactly the room we want.

"Do you like this one better than the other one?" I ask Bucky.

"Yes, this one is more us. The other room was too bright." He says smiling.

"Plus it's probably good for Steve that we don't take the room right next to him. He will need some sleep at some point." I say laughing and nudge Steve's shoulder.

Steve blushes and I laugh at him. He still gets awkward at sex jokes. Bucky goes out and gets the backpack while I open the window. The breeze blows the purple curtains around me. When I turn around Steve is gone and Bucky is standing by the bed. He smirks at me and I walk over to him.

"This is going to be one hell of a vacation." I say laughing.

Bucky grabs me around the waist and pulls me against him. He kisses me deeply and presses my body against his.

"It most certainly is." He replies.

I want to melt into his arms and fall onto this bed with him but I have to let go.

"Woah slow down there cowboy. We have to finish our exploring before the servant comes to get us ready for dinner."

He groans but lets go of me. I take his hand and we go out to the main room again. We check out the bathroom that is by far the most luxurious bathroom I have ever seen in my life. This whole suite has been more incredible than I ever imagined anything could be.

"Are you ready to see the closet?" I ask with a huge smile on my face.

I run like a schoolgirl over to the closet and throw open the doors. My eyes go wide as I look at the array of beautiful clothing in front of me. Bucky comes up behind me.

"Do I really have to wear this stuff?" he asks.

Steve joins us and looks at the clothes.

"I'm afraid so Buck. I think we all have to." He says.

I touch the soft silk of a dress in front of me. I bring it to my face and feel it on my cheek.

"Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't you want to wear these clothes?" I ask.

There is a soft knock on the door to our suite and Steve goes to open it. There is a short woman standing there.

"Prince Thor sent me to attend to you. I am Enaria." She says.

Steve steps aside and lets her in.

"Pleased to meet you ma'am. I am Steve, this is Bucky and this is Evelyn."

She smiles and says hello to each of us.

"Lady Evelyn, your dressing will require the most assistance. We should start now." She says.

"Oh alright. You can call me Evy if you want. You don't have to call me Lady Evelyn."

We all walk back into the closet. She pulls out an outfit that is navy blue and velvety. It has accents of silver and red on it. She hands it to Steve.

"This will work nicely for you my Lord." She says.

"Oh, thank you Enaria."

She goes a little farther into the closet and pulls out a black leathery outfit. It is all black except for the silver buckles.

"This one is for you my Lord." She says handing it to Bucky.

He looks at me and I bite my lip. I raise my eyebrow at him and smirk. Oh he is going to look hot in that outfit.

"I can assist you if you need any help." She says to them.

"Thank you." Steve says before he and Bucky walk out of the closet.

Enaria smiles at me.

"You are with Lord Bucky am I correct?" she asks.

I laugh at her saying Lord Bucky. It sounds really funny.

"Yes, I am. You don't have to call us Lord and Lady though. Just call us by our names."

"Alright Evy." She says smiling. "Would you like your outfit to match his? It is a tradition on Asgard for couples to complement each other."

"Oh uh sure. Why not." I reply.

She goes through the dresses and pulls out the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen in my life. It is black leather and empire waisted. There is a silver belt and silver threads in the sleeves. I reach out and touch it.

"This is incredible. Are you sure you want me to wear this?" I ask.

She laughs lightly and smiles.

"Of course. All these dresses in here are for you to wear. Unfortunately we will have to bring some more in. Prince Thor did not inform us of your pregnancy. I'm afraid some of these dresses will be too tight."

"This one will fit though right?" I ask quickly.

"Yes, this one will fit. You are yet small enough for it. I can help you get into it."

We stay in the closet and I take off my clothes. I see Enaria look at my thong with curiosity. I guess it was a good idea to bring along some of my thongs. She also looks at my bra.

"You will not need this. The dress will support you." She says pointing to it.

I take off my bra and hold up my arms. She puts the dress over my head and the smooth leather slides down my body. It is not a harsh leather. It feels like butter and it feels incredible. She zips up the back and puts the belt around it. The belt sits perfectly under my breasts and on top of my baby bump.

"Would you like to see it?" she asks.

I turn around and look in the mirror. I hardly even recognize myself in something so beautiful. The leather molds to my body like it was made for me. It frames my curves and my rounded belly. She slides silver flats onto my feet.

"Would you like me to do your hair and makeup?" she asks.

"Yes please."

We leave the closet and go into the bathroom. The guys are still in their bedrooms and I'm anxious to see what they look like. She sits me down in the bathroom facing away from the mirror. She is gentle with my hair and with my makeup. She turns me back around and I gasp. My hair is in a braid to the side. There is a silver thread laced through the braid. She has done my makeup to accent the black and gold on the dress while my lips are bright red.

"Oh my god Enaria. You are a miracle worker." I say.

She laughs and smiles.

"I only used your natural beauty. Now come and let's see how the men have fared."

I look at myself in the mirror again and still cannot believe that it is me. When we leave the bathroom Bucky and Steve are both waiting in the living room. They both go wide eyed as I walk into the room. I feel the same way about them. Steve looks like a medieval prince. The way that Bucky looks takes my breath away. He looks so hot that I want to go drag him into the bedroom and lock him in there for days. He comes towards me.  
"Evy you look incredible." He says.

"You look pretty incredible yourself." I reply.

There is a loud knock on the door before Thor opens it.

"Are you all ready? It is time to meet Asgard."

 **Alright give me some reviews people! I wanna know what you think!**


	28. Chapter 28

Steve walks with Thor while Bucky and I walk behind. We hold hands and Bucky smiles at me.

"You really look absolutely stunning." He says.

To be honest I actually feel stunning. I don't think I have ever felt this beautiful in my entire life. I look at Bucky and think about how lucky I am. I have someone who I love that loves me and we are having a baby. It is everything the old me wanted and the new me never realized I could have. I suddenly feel very nervous when we stop in front of a giant set of doors. Thor turns and looks at us.

"Tonight you are the guests of honor. We have never had any visitors from Midgard before so everyone is anxious to meet you. I will take you to the front of the room where you will be introduced to my father Odin, my mother Frigga and my brother Loki. Captain I know you and Loki have a sorted past but for now it must be put behind you. Here he is a prince and he has already been punished for his crimes. If you want him to help Barnes then we need him to like you. Alright, is everyone ready?"

"Ready as we will ever be." I say.

I take a deep breath as the doors swing open. Bucky holds my hand and gently squeezes it. I know that he is as nervous as I am. Neither one of us had personally met Loki before but I was worried about Steve. Everything with Loki was before my time at SHIELD and Bucky had been with Hydra. The room falls silent as we walk inside. I can feel every eye in the room on me as we follow Thor to the front. I look up to the front and I am only more terrified. Odin is a big presence. I can feel the power emanating off of him. I look to his right where his Queen is and I feel calmer. She is radiating goodness and light. Loki is standing right next to her and I don't yet know how to feel about him. I know of the stories that the Avengers have told me but I don't actually know him. I am the last person to judge someone for their past. Like Thor said, I need Loki to like me so that he will be willing to help Bucky. I realize we have stopped and are standing in front of Odin. We all bow and I bow instead of curtsey. Oops, I guess I'm not that great at being a lady.

"All-father, I would like to introduce our Midgardian visitors. This is Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes and Evelyn Collins." Thor says as he motions to each of us.

Odin stands there in silence as he stares at us. His stare is piercing and it makes me squirm.

"Welcome to Asgard. I trust that you will find your stay comfortable and you will gain that which you seek. Obeying our laws and respecting our customs is not an option. We look forward to your time here. Now let us eat."

He looked at each of us at different times as he spoke. I relax as the room suddenly becomes more focused on the food than on us. Odin stays on his throne but Frigga comes down to us. She comes straight over to me and smiles at me.

"I want to welcome you to Asgard. I see our dress suites you very well. Congratulations on your coming child. Thor did not tell us that you are with child but please know that we have expert medical care should you require it." She says.

"Thank you so much your majesty. I appreciate everything that you are doing for us. Hopefully I will not require any medical attention. I hope to have my baby back home." I say.

"May I?" she asks holding out her hands.

"Oh, of course." I reply moving my hands out of the way.

Frigga puts her hands on my rounded belly. She closes her eyes and I can feel the tingle of power coming from her. It is a good tingle and I know her magic is good. It feels like light. She smiles as her hands move around. She opens her eyes and looks at me.

"He is a very strong soul. He is so full of life already." She says.

I look up at Bucky and then at Frigga.

"He? It's a boy?" I ask.

Frigga frowns. "Oh I am sorry. I did not know that you were unaware of the gender of your child. Forgive me."

"Oh no, please don't apologize. We wanted to know the gender. With the technology on Earth it is too early to determine the gender. We have been wanting to know. So it's a boy? We are having a son?" I ask excitedly.

She smiles wide and gently rubs my belly.

"Yes, a beautiful and strong son. I will leave you two alone now to give you a moment alone. Please help yourself to the food at your leisure."

She walks away and I look at Bucky. He is trying hard to hide his smile but when I smile at him his own smile breaks the surface.

"We are having a boy!" I say excitedly to him.

"A son! Oh Evy, we are having a son!" he says wrapping his arms around me.

I desperately want to kiss him but decide that a room full of Asgardians probably isn't the best place to do it. He lets go of me and puts his hand on my belly. He rubs it gently and affectionately as he smiles at me.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"Yes, extremely. Let us go try some Asgardian cuisine." I reply smiling.

The room is filled with tables that are piled with food. There are two open seats at the end of the table next to Steve. I sit down next to Steve and grab his arm.

"Steve, we are having a boy. Queen Frigga just told us. You are going to have a godson."

Steve grabs me in a hug and smiles.

"Oh Evy, that is wonderful news. Congratulations Bucky. A son is a great joy." He says.

"Thanks Steve, Uncle Steve." I say nudging him.

"Uncle Steve, I like the sound of that." He says.

"Good because you better get used to it."

Bucky slides a plate of food in front of me. It must be way of telling me that I need to eat. I smile at him and take the plate. I'm not sure what some of this food is but all of it is delicious. I notice there is a woman sitting across the table from me and she is watching me.

"I am Lady Sif." She says.

"Oh, I've heard of you before. It's a pleasure to meet you Lady Sif." I say smiling.

"It is a pleasure to meet you as well Lady Evelyn. I have heard you have quite the skill in combat." She replies.

"Please call me Evy. Thanks. I'm sure I am not as good as you are in combat. I would love to spar with you some time though."

"I am sure we can arrange that while you are here." She says smiling.

"No, I don't think so." Bucky says.

I am actually surprised that he spoke. He normally does not talk to people in public other than me or occasionally Steve.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"The baby. I don't think you should spar while you are pregnant. You could get hurt or hurt the baby." He says.

"It is just sparring Bucky. We won't be fighting for real. I'm sure Sif could teach me some things."

"Do not worry Bucky. I would never harm Evy or your child. I can teach her things without ever putting the child in harms way." Sif says.

I stick my lower lip out at Bucky and give him a pouty face. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Alright. I trust you." He says.

We had been at the banquet for a few hours and I could feel myself getting extremely tired. It had been a long day and it was starting to get to me. I tried to cover my yawn but I didn't escape the watchful eyes of Bucky and Steve. Steve stands up and Bucky follows suit.

"I think we are going to head to bed now. It has been a long day." Steve says.

Thor slaps him on the back.

"Alright Captain. Do you need help getting back to your rooms?" he asks.

"I remember how to get there." I say standing up.

"Goodnight my Midgardian friends. I will have someone bring you breakfast in the morning. Sleep well."

We follow the halls back to our room. I am actually surprised that I remember the way. I am tired but as I look at Bucky in that black leather my mind moves to other ideas. Steve stops before he gets to his room.

"I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight Evy, Goodnight Bucky." He says.

I give Steve a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight Uncle Steve." I say smirking.

He goes into his room and I follow Bucky into ours. I close the door and lock it. Bucky turns to look at me. I smile at him as the room gains electricity.

"Now, about that outfit." I say with a smirk.


	29. Chapter 29

"What about it?" Bucky asks with a knowing look in his eye.

I stalk my way across the room to him and grab the front of it.

"Well, as incredible as it looks on you, I think it would look better on the floor." I say biting my lower lip.

"What a coincidence because I was just thinking the same thing about this dress." Bucky says.

He grabs me and pulls me against him. Our lips crash together as our bodies press against each other. Bucky looks as me and I can see the fire burning in his eyes.

"Do you think you will wear this dress again?" Bucky asks.

"I don't know. Asgard doesn't seem like they are the kind of place where you repeat outfits." I say laughing.

"Good." Bucky says with a devilish smirk.

He grabs the back of the dress and rips it open. I gasp as I hear the tearing of material. His mouth finds mine before I can speak. His hands wrap around me and slip into the hole in the back of the dress. His metal hand is cool against my back where his flesh hand is warm. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks over to the bed and sets me down on it.

"I may not have a bionic hand to rip your shirt off but I would like it off." I say smiling.

"Your wish is my command." He replies.

Bucky unties his tunic and throws it on the ground. He slowly unbuttons the shirt and it joins the tunic. I bite my lip as I look at him in just those tight black leather pants and boots.

"Mmm you need to dress like this all the time from now on." I say grabbing waist of his pants to bring him closer.

I start to undo his pants when he grabs my hands.

"Wait, you are still fully dressed even though your dress is ripped. Let me take care of that for you."

Bucky tears the rest of the dress in the back and slides it off my body. He smirks when he sees I am not wearing a bra underneath. He kicks off his boots before he climbs up onto the bed. I lay back and he brings himself over top of me. I reach up and touch his face. Bucky slides his flesh hand down my body then in between my legs. I still have my thong on but he pushes the lacy material to the side. He slides his finger inside as his lips come down on mine. I move my hands down his body and slide them into the back of his pants. I slowly pull down the leather and smirk to discover he is not wearing anything underneath them. I throw his pants to the ground then push him to the side. I sit up on my knees then come over top of him and straddle his hips. Bucky reaches up and takes the hairtie off my braid. He runs his fingers through the pleats to take them out. My hair falls down around me and Bucky smiles.

"There, exactly how I like it." He says.

I sink my fingers into his hair and mess it all up.

"That is how I like it." I say smirking.

He grabs the back of my head and pulls it down to him. Our lips meet again and this time the kisses are deeper. We are becoming desperate for each other. I reach down and take Bucky in my hand. He is already hard and ready for me. I can feel the wetness between my legs increase and I need him. He sits up and pulls me into his lap. I wrap my legs around him. Bucky takes his cock and gently slides it inside of me. We both moan in unison as he fits in perfectly. I wrap my arms around Bucky's neck and slide my fingers into his hair. He puts his hands on my waist as his hips rock up into mine. Our bodies take over and all I can think about is Bucky. I love this man more than I have ever loved anyone or anything before. He is gentle and kind even when he thinks he is not. I press my lips to his and gently bite his lip. He moans and the speed of his thrusting increases. He very carefully flips me under him. I get up on my hands and knees and spread my legs. Bucky is able to push deeper inside me and fill me up. His speed does not decrease as he holds on to my hips. I can feel the familiar tingling inside me. I reach my climax and call out Bucky's name. Bucky reaches forward and gently grabs my breasts as he joins me in the climax. He calls my name and I relish the sound of it.

I feel Bucky withdraw from me and I lay down. He reaches over and pulls me against him. I turn and face him. Bucky smiles at me and runs his hand in my hair.

"I love you so much Evy." He says.

"I love you too Bucky. More than I ever knew was possible." I reply sleepily.

He kisses my forehead then gets up. He leaves the room and comes back with a towel. We clean up and he hands me a beautiful and silky Asgardian nightgown. I slide the smooth black fabric on and I love the feeling of it. Bucky slips on a pair of pants made out of the same material. I lay back down in the bed and Bucky joins me. He turns out the light and pulls the covers over us. I cuddle right up to him and he wraps his arms around me. He kisses my forehead then gently rubs my belly.

"Get some sleep Evy. Our little guy in there needs his rest too." He says.

I smile at the mention of our little guy. We are having a son.

"Goodnight Bucky." I say sleepily.

"Goodnight Evy."

I feel him kiss my forehead softly. I drift off to sleep to the feeling of him gently rubbing my back.


	30. Chapter 30

I wake up feeling the dull ache of last night between my legs. It is most definitely worth it. Bucky is sound asleep next to me with his head on his arm and his mouth slightly open. I gently move his hair and softly kiss his forehead. I feel a little bit restless but I want to let him sleep. I slowly get up from the bed so I don't disturb him. I grab the silky robe that matches my nightgown and put it on. It just barely ties around my bump. I guess I will need to ask for another one. I very carefully open the door and close it again behind me.

I see Steve out on the balcony and I slowly stalk my way towards him. My pregnancy hasn't lessened the grace that I acquired as a trained assassin. I silently cross the room and go through the doors. I throw my arms around Steve's torso from behind and hold on to him. He actually jumps in response and I start laughing.

"Damn it Evy. You scared the life out of me." He says.

"That's what you get for hanging out with trained assassins." I say smirking.

I let go of him and come to stand beside him. He leans down and kisses my cheek.

"I guess so. Good morning Evy. Is Buck still sleeping?"

"Yeah he had a long night." I reply with a wink.

Steve scowls and nudges me.

"Eww I did not need to hear that." He says with a tint of pink in his cheeks.

"Oh Steve, one day you will meet that one special girl and then you will understand. You see when two people love each other…"

He interrupts me.

"Very funny Evy."

I lean my head on his shoulder and he leans his head on top of mine.

"It is a pretty spectacular view isn't it." I say.

Steve sighs with his whole body.

"It really is. I don't think I could ever get used to this view. I don't think I have ever been somewhere this beautiful before."

"I know exactly how you feel. This place is like a dream. I do want to talk to you about something serious though."

Steve all of a sudden becomes all business. He turns and looks at me.

"What is it Evy?"

I smile and laugh lightly.

"It isn't that serious. Geez, calm down."

He relaxes his stance but still looks right at me. I take his hand in my own.

"I just wanted to see how you are doing. I mean with being around Loki and everything. We might be here for a while and I know Loki is going to be playing a big part in trying to work on Bucky's memory. I just want to see how comfortable you are with everything."

Steve smiles at me and hugs me without warning.

"I love you Evy. Thank you for asking about me. I'm fine, really, I'm fine. Loki is Loki. I am here for you and for Bucky. I will just stay out of Loki's way. This is his home territory so I don't want to step on any toes. I'm just content to ignore him."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Now where can we get some food because I am starving." I say with a smile.

We go back inside as Bucky is coming out of the bedroom. His hair is all over the place and wild from last night. He smiles when he sees us.

"Good morning." He says.

"Good morning Buck." Steve says.

I walk over and throw myself into Bucky's arms.  
"Good morning, my love." I say before I kiss him.

There is a knock on the door and Steve goes to answer it. It is a young woman about my age and her cheeks instantly turn red when she sees Steve. She is not the same attendant from yesterday.

"Good morning Lord Rogers, Lord Barnes, and Lady Collins. I was sent to ask if you wish to dine in your chambers or in the Great Hall for breakfast." Her voice cracks as she says Lord Rogers.

Aww I think she might have a little crush on Steve. She is very pretty. Maybe Steve could have a little fling while he is here. I highly doubt it though. He is too moral for that. We all 3 look at each other after she asks her question.

"Oh I think eating in our chambers would be good. We are not dressed for breakfast yet. Is that alright?" I ask.

"Of course my lady. I will have breakfast brought to you shortly. Then I can return to help you dress if you wish."

"That would be lovely thank you." I reply.

She curtsies and starts to leave the room.

"Oh uh wait, what's your name?" Steve asks.

Her cheeks flush red again.

"Aurelia my lord." She replies softly.

"Thank you Aurelia. Please call me Steve. We will see you when you return."

He actually bows to her before she leaves the room. Bucky and I look at each other wide eyed. What just happened? Maybe he will get that little Asgardian fling after all. He closes the door after her and turns back towards us. Bucky and I are just smirking at him.

"What?" he asks.

"You like her!" I say smiling.

"No! She is just nice." He says with a slight hint of pink in his cheeks.

I just narrow my eyes at him and he looks away.

"He is improving I think. I remember I could hardly get him to talk to a girl back in the day." Bucky says.

His mention of something in the past completely breaks us out of our mode we are in. Steve's eyes light up. Bucky just remembered something. Maybe Asgard is going to be the perfect solution. Today his therapy with Loki and Frigga begins. Maybe this time next week he will be the old self he used to be.

 **Hey followers! I know it has been a while and I am so so so sorry! I am going to try to get back with this story! I actually met Sebastian a couple weeks ago so my love for him is renewed! That means I am ready to get back into this story! Please comment and tell me what you are thinking! Also start telling me some baby names! I wanna hear them! Thanks for not giving up on me yet!**


	31. Chapter 31

I've been waiting g all day to see Bucky and ask how his first day of therapy went. Out whole depends on this. I will still love Bucky no matter what but I don't think he will be able to handle failing again. He has been fighting so hard to be the person that he used to be. I want him to be able to be at peace with himself. Out son needs his father to be in his life. Out little family needs Bucky to be Bucky. Steve and I have been exploring Asgard on our own. Many of the people stop and stare at us since they know we are from Earth or Midgard as they call it.

"Evy, this would look beautiful on you."

I snap out of my thoughts and look at Steve. He is holding up a necklace. I look at it and I have to agree. It is a silver necklace with a red starburst gem in the center. Steve clasps it around my neck. The gem lands right in the hollow of my neck and collarbone. I look at the mirror and gently touch the necklace.

"Wow, this is beautiful." I say.

"Excuse me, how much is this?" Steve asks.

The vendor raises his eyebrow. He knows we don't have any Asgardian money. He looks at Steve's wrist.

"I will trade you for this."

He points to the watch that Steve is wearing. He normally doesn't wear one but he brought one with him from home so that he could keep track of the time back on Earth.

"That's okay Steve. I don't need it."

I reach for the clasp and Steve stops me.

"No, it's alright. That necklace was made for you. I'm not attached to this watch at all."

He takes off the watch and hands it to the man. I touched the stone at my neck and smile.

"Thank you Steve."

He puts his arm around me and kisses my head.

"You're welcome. Why don't we go back to the palace? It's almost dinner time so they should be done for the day soon." He says.

Steve and I walk back through the market place and up to the palace. The guards and servants all nod to us as we walk past. We turn down the hall that our chamber is in and Aurelia is coming down from the other side. She immediately blushes and smiles at Steve. He stands up straighter and clears his throat.

"Hello Aurelia." He says.

"Hello Steve, hello Evelyn." She says as we meet in the middle outside our door. "I was just coming to see you needed any assistance dressing for dinner."

"Yes please. I have no idea what is and is not appropriate for dinner." I say smiling.

"I would be happy to assist you."

We go into our chamber and I see my bedroom door is open. Bucky is sitting on the bed in there.

"Actually, could you go pick out my dress for me? I need a minute. I'm sure that Steve will also need help picking out what to wear so you could start with him." I say.

She smiles and bows a little. "Of course. Take your time."

I wink at Steve before I go into the bedroom. Bucky looks up at me when I walk into the room. I close the door behind me to give us some privacy. I sit down next to him on the bed. He is being quiet so I talk first.

"So…how did the first day go?"

He sighs and turns to lay his head in my lap. I gently stroke his hair.

"It was alright. They said they wanted to start slow. I think they are afraid of scrambling my brain even more. Today was basically just going over history and facts. I feel like it's the same frustrating that I was doing at SHIELD. It just feels like a wasted trip."

I tilt his chin up to look me in the eyes.

"It's just day one Bucky. They have power here that we could never have even dreamt about. I'm sure they know what they are doing. Just give it some time."

He blinks a few times and I know that he is trying to keep tears from spilling out.

"I just don't want to let you down."

I put my hand on his heart.

"You could never let me down. I will love you no matter what. Nothing will ever change that. I fell in love with you. You weren't the old Bucky then. I love you exactly the way that you are."

He puts his hand on top of mine and brings my hand to his lips. He gently kisses my knuckles. Bucky lets go of my hand and puts both of his hands on either side of my belly. He leans in and kisses the rounded bump.

"I won't let you down little one. Daddy is going to do his best to be exactly what you need me to be."

I run my fingers in Bucky's hair while he talks to our son.

"The only thing he needs you to be is his daddy."

There is a soft knock on the door and then it opens. Aurelia is standing there blushing.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. Dinner will begin shortly and I need to have you dressed in time. Steve is already dressed and waiting."

She holds up an all-black outfit with silver trimmings and looks at Bucky.

"This one is for you."

Bucky slyly places one more kiss on my belly before getting off the bed. He holds his hands out and pulls me off the bed. He takes the outfit from Aurelia.

"Thank you." He says.

She nods and curtsies. I blow him a kiss before I leave the room with her. We go over to the closet.

"I picked out the perfect dress for you. We are still bringing new dresses for you to wear as your child grows. This dress should still fit you."

The dress she holds up is red as blood. There is no corset on this one. The fabric is flowy and in layers. She reaches out and touches the gem at my neck.

"I saw this and I knew this dress would be perfect with it." She says smiling.

"This is beautiful." I say running my hand on the tulle of the dress.

Aurelia helps me get undressed and pulled the red dress on. I run my hands down the smooth fabric as she ties the laces on the back together. She brushes my hair and pulls it into a bun high on my head. I slip on a pair of silver flats and she hands me a pair of silver teardrop earrings. She holds up a paintbrush and a silver bottle.

"Do you trust me?" she asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Yeah, sure."

I relax my face as Aurelia does my lips.

"Okay I am finished. If you do not like it then I can do something else." She says sheepishly.

I turn and look in the mirror. The woman looking back at me does not even look like me. The color of the dress makes my skin look like porcelain when combined with the blackness of my hair. The bodice of the dress accentuates my breasts and hides my baby bump. My lips are dark metallic silver. I look like some ancient goddess.

"This is absolutely amazing. Are you sure I'm not overdressed for just dinner?" I ask.

"Oh, did no one tell you? Tonight at the stroke of midnight it is Prince Thor's day of birth. The celebration starts tonight at dinner and continues all day tomorrow." She says.

"I had no idea. I wish I would have known. I would have brought a present."

"I can make sure something is brought from you."

"Really? That would be very nice of you. Perhaps you could take Steve with you tomorrow and show him more of Asgard."

Her cheeks flame red and I smile. I am trying so hard to be his wing chick.

"Yes, I will do that. Well, you are finished. Let us get you to dinner."

We step in to the room where Bucky and Steve are sitting. Steve looks over and then Bucky follows Steve's eyes. Bucky stands up with his mouth practically hanging open.

"Wow, Evy…You look absolutely stunning."

I look at Bucky once again in the black leather and feel the same way.

"Dinner will be starting soon. Would you like me to escort you?" Aurelia asks.

"That would be great." Steve answers for us.

Steve and Aurelia walk ahead of us on the way to the great hall. They are talking the whole way. I've never seen Steve smile and laugh so much before. I notice Bucky has not stopped looking at me this whole time.

"So you like the dress?" I ask with a smirk.

"Like isn't even a string enough word."

"I don't even look pregnant in this dress." I say pulling at the loose fabric that hides the bump.

"Well I don't like that part." Bucky frowns and puts his hand over my belly. "I like to look over and see evidence of him in there."

I take his hand and lace my fingers with his.

"It's just one night. Plus you can reach over and feel him any time you want."

We arrive at the great hall. I was so much more nervous yesterday but tonight I am not. Yesterday we were the guests of honor but today it is all about Thor. Everyone has already seen us for the first time so now they will not pay any attention to us.

I didn't realize how wrong I was until I stepped into the room. Every set of eyes are on me. I actually turn around to make sure that Thor isn't standing behind me.

"Awkward." I whisper to Bucky.

His arm snakes around my waist possessively. Maybe this dress wasn't such a great idea. Odin stands up and finally the attention is taken off of me. We find our seats and quickly sit down.

"Today we celebrate the birth of our crowned prince of Asgard, Thor." Odin bellows.

The doors burst open and Thor struts in. He looks so happy and confident.

"Thank you father. Now let us eat and drink to our heart's content."

He grabs the cup closest to him and downs the contents.


	32. Chapter 32

I have quickly learned that they really love to have parties and banquets here on Asgard. It seems like they are always happening for some reason or another. Of course we are always to be present for these parties. The food is absolutely incredible so I cannot complain that much. All I really want to do it eat lately. The only thing I hate about these parties is feeling paraded around. I have yet to understand why Odin wants us all present and dressed up. After being here for almost a month Bucky has made minimal progress. They can't quite crack where the hypnosis is coming from. Frigga is trying to be gentle as to not break his psyche but I know it is frustrating Bucky. He wants it to be fixed now and unfortunately it just isn't happening. Every day he comes back to our room feeling angry at himself.

I stoke Bucky's hair as he lays his head in my lap. We do this every day when he gets home. It is exhausting for him to be putting through the mental ringer like this. So many dark secrets are being unlocked and I know it weighs heavy on him. I softly hum while I run my fingers in his hair. It is a soft and soothing melody combined with the constant contact of my hands on his head. He puts his cheek against my ever growing bump and presses his face as close to our son as he can. This moments help keep him grounded. Our son gives him something to continue fighting for.

Steve always makes himself scarce when Bucky comes home because he knows we need to have this time to decompress. We don't like to be in our room because it is an enclosed space. We always sit out on the balcony in the fresh air. There is a couch out there and it is plenty big enough for Bucky to lay down. The breeze and sunshine help to bring him into the light and out of the dark place in his head. He keeps his face pressed against my belly to shield himself from the world until he is ready. He takes his hand and gently feels around through my thin robe. He dejectedly sighs.

"I think he is sleeping love." I say, "I promise I will let you know if I feel any kicking."

Bucky sighs against but leaves his hand on my bump. It truly breaks his heart that he has not felt his son kick yet. I have been able to feel it for a few weeks but Bucky has yet to experience it. I know how much it hurts him and I wish I could change it. I give my belly a couple pokes to see if he will wake up but nothing happens. Bucky continues to rub circles on my belly and keep his cheek pressed against it even though he is now looking up at me. I lean down and kiss his forehead.

"I love you. I love every piece of you. Forever and always." I say.

He takes his free hand and touches my cheek.

"I love you too."

I know that our time out here is limited. Any minute now Aurelia will be coming to get us dressed. Tonight there is a welcoming celebration for a group known as The Guardians of the Galaxy. They are basically the Avengers on a universal scale. Thor has been telling us about them for days now. He is so excited to meet them. They are coming to talk to Odin about the growing threat that is Thanos. I cant be the only one that notices Loki wince every time they mention his name. So obviously there is some history there, hence their visit here. They have prepared a giant feast after the official greeting.

The door to the suite opens and Steve walks in with Aurelia. They are laughing and smiling. Both of them turn bright red when they see us looking at them. I pretend to look away.

"Carry on. I see nothing. I hear nothing. Pretend we are not here."

Steve does his awkward throat clearing. Aurelia's voice squeaks a bit as she speaks.

"Lady Evy, are you ready to get dressed?"

I turn and look at her. "Huh? What? Oh I didn't realize you were here."

Steve just rolls his eyes while Bucky smirks up at me.

"Okay I'm ready. Aurelia, make me pretty."

Bucky sits up and leans in to kiss me. "You are always pretty my love."

He stands up and holds out his hands. I slap them away.

"I'm not that round yet. I can get off a damn couch on my own."

Bucky holds up his hands in defeat. Aurelia gets the guys their outfits and then I meet her in the closet. This closet looks so different from the first time I stepped into it. There were bright colors before where now there are not. They quickly figured out that I prefer darker tones. Aurelia actually startles me as she steps out of a row of dresses. She is so tiny that I somehow hadn't even noticed her. She blushes a little and stifles a smile.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to startle you. I was picking out a special dress for you."

She holds up the dress for me to see. Once again her selection takes my breath away. The dress is a black silk underneath with a metallic mesh overlay that looks like a gunmetal color in the light.

"Holy shit I am so stealing this dress when I leave."

She helps me get into the dress and it is even more amazing on than it was in her hands. It is sleeveless and the neckline plunges to frame my breasts perfectly without being distasteful. The black silk hugs my curves like a glove while the overlay softens it. Bucky is going to love how prominent my baby bump is in this dress. Aurelia curls my hair in loose waves around my shoulders and matches my lips to the necklace I refuse to take off. I look in the mirror and I am in awe of her once again.

"You are amazing. You truly know how to make me beautiful."

She gently touches my arm, "No, Miss Evy. You are always beautiful. Now let us go show you off."

Bucky and Steve are sitting on the couch talking when I walk in. They both stand up. Bucky immediately comes over to me.

"Wow, Evy, you look stunning. How did I ever get so lucky?" he puts his hand around my waist and pulls me close to him.

I smile, "No kisses. You will smudge my lipstick."

Bucky groans and settles for a kiss on the cheek. Before we leave I quickly put Bucky's hair in a man bun. It looks sexy as hell with all the black leather that he is wearing. I could really get used to Asgardian clothing. Bucky gives me a cheeky smile that tells me I will not be getting much sleep tonight. I wink at him before we leave for the party.

The whole palace is pandemonium with the excitement over the arrival of the Guardians. We make our way to the throne room and find a place to stand, which of course Aurelia disapproves of and moves us.

"The All-Father wanted you closer to the front. I believe he wishes you to meet them. Their leader, Peter Quill, is half human. He was born on Midgard." She says.

I really do not want to be displayed again and Bucky even less so but you can't really tell Odin no. We take our places at the front side of the room. Bucky takes my hand and laces his fingers with mine. Steve is standing on my other side with Aurelia next to him. I am so busy watching them and their dynamic that I don't even realize Odin has already begun to introduce them. I look over at the Guardians and my world freezes. My whole body goes cold. Bucky realizes my sudden change and looks over at me.

"Evy, what's wrong? Is it the baby?" he whispers.

I notice I am clutching my round belly but it is not my son that I am thinking of. It is my daughter, a daughter who was fathered by the man standing only a few feet away from me right now. Jason is Peter Quill. I feel like I am going to be sick. There are so many emotions running through me right now that I cannot even begin to process. Bucky puts his hand on my arm.

"Evy, love, you are scaring me. Are you okay?"

I know he is trying to make as little scene as possible but Steve has noticed my change as well. They don't want to draw more attention to us. I take a deep breath and stand up tall.

"It's not the baby…" my voice cracks with the word baby, "I will tell you later."

If I told Bucky who Peter was he would kill him right here in front of everyone. He would snap and I would not be able to stop him. I can't bring myself to look back over at them. I am barely holding it together just knowing I am in the same room as him.

"We have some fellow Midgardians we would like you to meet. They are staying here with us for a while."

In all my distraction I somehow missed that the formal presentation was over. Queen Frigga is now on her way over to us with the Guardians. I see Peter look at all 3 of us as he comes over but he doesn't give me a look of knowing who I am. Does he truly not recognize me? I know I have grown up and covered myself in tattoos but I can't imagine my face has changed that much.

"Guardians, I would like you to meet Steve Rogers, James Barnes, and Evelyn Collins." Queen Frigga says.

I follow Peter's movements as he looks at each of us. I see the exact moment that recognition of my name and face register with him. His eyes go wide and he moves forward.

"Evy?" he asks.

My impulses take over. This man ruined my life. He abandoned me and our daughter. He left me alone to watch her die. I hate this man. Before Bucky can stop me I step forward and punch Peter. All of my anger and frustration is poured into this one punch. He falls to the ground. He is out cold. I want to kick him. I want to continue beating him. Bucky carefully grabs me by the waist and pulls me away from him. The green woman kneels down next to him to see if he is alright. The rest of his group glares at me. They are all tense like they are ready to fight if they need to. I can feel myself beginning to fall apart. The adrenaline from punching him has worn off and now the reality of seeing him has begun to set in. Bucky is carefully holding me in his arms while Steve stands by my side at the ready.

"What is going on?" Odin's voice booms over the crowd's murmur.

Bucky's grip on me tightens as Odin comes closer to us. Frigga is on the ground next too Peter and he is already starting to regain consciousness.

"The pregnant woman punched Quill with a force of strength that I respect. She knocked him out cold." The large blue man says.

Odin looks at me and Steve steps up between us. Odin does not even look at him.

"Miss Collins, would you care to explain why you assaulted another guest in my home?"

I can barely think straight. I can feel that I am only moments away from bursting into tears. I look at Odin because I cannot look at Peter.

"He destroyed my life."

All I need to say are those four words. Steve and Bucky know exactly who this man is now. Instead of launching himself at Peter Bucky holds onto me tighter. It is a protective and possessive hold. Steve looks more tense than I have ever seen him before. Odin does not seem satisfied with that answer.

"How did he do that?" Odin asks.

"I…he…my…"

I lose control of my tears and of my legs. I lean into Bucky.

"Can we please leave? You can see she doesn't look well. Perhaps we can discuss this in the morning."

Steve stands between myself and Odin so I cannot see Odin's face. I cannot hear his answer because Peter's eyes are beginning to open. His face is already covered in blood and bruises are forming. He looks right up at me.

"Evy…"he groans.

It breaks me. Bucky doesn't even hesitate. He swoops me into his arms. Bucky doesn't ever carry me around. I am not helpless princess but in this moment it is the only thing I need. He takes long strides across the room to get us out of there as quickly as possible. I hear Peter call my name again.

"Evy, where are they? Are they here? Evy!"

I hear another thud and look over Bucky's shoulder just long enough to see Peter fall to the floor again. This time it was Steve who punched him. Steve runs to catch up with us and once I feel him near I bury my face in Bucky's chest. Then I cry. I cry like I have only cried once before.


End file.
